Long lost families

[OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere]

Is anyone watching?
ITV.

What do you think?

No angle - just asking generally.

I am watching! Have a massive lump in my throat! Stellas daughters are all so alike, its unthinkable at having to give a child up when they are 18 months old

I wonder about doing the reading of the letters on camera etc. Perhaps they let them look at them before though.

The male presenter is adopted so I hope it is all being done with sensitivity.

I do hope it all works out well.

We are so lucky now. Imagine having to give up your child because you are unmarried.

Can't watch anymore at the moment, too upsetting. Taping it for later so can fwd all the sad bits.....dh watching it so will fill me in :)

I'm totally horrified by the whole concept but as a child 'given up' by an unmarried mother in the 70's I have my own perspective. It's just such a massive thing, that affects so many people deep deep down I can't believe they would use it for other people's entertainment. That's only my opinion though

Yes I feel like I'm intruding. I can't stop sobbing and my supper is getting all wet! It's feelgood TV though and I hope the participants don't feel too manipulated.

My intial reaction is the same Lost. It doesnt sit well with me at all.
But I wanted to see if it challenged my thinking. I know I can be a bit rigid about adoption issues IYSWIM.

Its such a huge, huge thing.

But the people featured seem to be aware and not particularly 'vulnerable' like on some reality shows.

So I wonder if I have the right to be a bit about it all?

Imagine giving up your own child at 18 months, I can't bear thinking about it.

This is local to me. Oooh Down Hall's a bit of a posh place, hope they're treating them to a nice lunch

There is quite a lot of talk of 'it all being alright now'

and being able to put everything to one side.

I am not sure its that simple.

The update was nice.

I hope it works out for them all.

It can't possibly be that simple, I am aware though I'm talking about a programme I have no intention of ever watching. I can't even watch Juno Until you have experience of it (as I know you do MrsDV) I don't think people can appreciate how much it has an influence on all of your life. It's never going to be 'all right now'. Or is that just me? So, so personal, can't imagine you could make a claim for this being anything other than purely voyeuristic tv.

Yes it was nice to see that it was going well.

It could have been handled a lot worse. Jeremy Kyle does it live on stage. Its horrible.

I know lost. I think having an actual experience gives it a totally different dimension.

I cant help but think of DS when I watch these things and the horror of some tv company thinking they could handle the implications of setting up a reunion.

I do hope it has gone well for them though.

I think this is the 2nd or 3rd series, I dont remember anyone so far choosing not to meet, So I imagine they only show the sucess stories. I suposse it is a source of help for people who have so far drawn a blank on their search for lost families. If I remember correctly I dont think it has all been adoption. Im sure in the last series there was just as many seperatins from parents or siblings due to famil break ups.

Live on stage Seriously?

Thinking about this didn't there used to be a programme like this a long time ago? I'm sure I can remember seeing something where there used to be a sad person with all the clues they had laid out in front of them saying 'and that is where the trail went cold' cue presenter saying 'well that is what you thought' and leading out a bus load of unknown relatives from behind stage who he was then forced to hug (or was this a fever dream when I was a teenager?!)

it was even called surprise surprise, cilla black was the presenter I always remember thinking that was pretty bad taste.

Next week looks like it isnt adoption focused festi

That sounds like 'Suprise Suprise' lost.

Grim.

If I remember correctly Davina McCall was also seperated from her mother during her childhood and raised predominantly by her grandmother. So I imagine bother and nicky campbell have personal experience and empathy to hopefully ensure things are handled sensitivly.

or even both her, and not, bother.

So that was real? I obviously blanked it out if it featured Cilla Black as well

I'm guessing this other programme is more tastefully/thoughtfully done and I am hoicking my judgey pants at something I only read about in the TV listings guide. I think to me it is just all too sensitive for prime time viewing. Plus I come from the type of family where we don't do feelings, so the thought of being on prime time TV for something so personal is just impossible, I think I may combust at the idea.

Davina had a very complex relationship with her birth mother.

Nicky Campbell was on tv recently talking about the programme and was asked about the voyeuristic aspect. He gave credit to the team making the programme for being sensitive and doing things right, as he saw it. Haven't watched, though, just recorded. I will blub ridiculously.

I also saw the interview with Nicky Campbell where he said that the participants were self selecting. So at least 1 party had requested to be on the show, and the other party would have had to have signed some form of agreement to be filmed.
Having found my BM - I know that it can fill in gaps that although you don't feel at the time are missing,can be, but there is a sense of closure in that there doesn't remain a mystery. I'm not saying that it is the same for everyone, but answers, whether they're the ones you want or not, can be satisfying.
And no, I would never in a million have signed up for such a programme. Last series I watched it without having met my BM and this year I have, so probably even more blubbing from me this time around

It's a real tearjerker, isn't it?

I suppose I'd just comment that this programme portrays a very real face of adoption up till the 1970s. It is of course highly unrepresentative of modern adoption. But it's interesting how many people assume that children who are adopted are, in the main, relinquished by unmarried teenagers.

I was thinking about that whilst watching it Devora.
I realise that it is an accurate portrayal of some adoptions 40 odd years ago but I did wonder if it would reinforce the popular idea that adoption is still like that.

It amazes me how many people think that the system is full of relinquished babies living in Children's Homes.

I only watched the first five minutes, but thought the same as Devora and MrsDV. Perhaps they should be obliged to show it back to back with something like the BBC2 programme Protecting our Children, to give a more realistic view of modern adoption.