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Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

second time adopters

5 replies

monicamary · 13/03/2012 20:11

We have just been accepted to adopt again which is great.Our ds is 4 and obviously we have explained a little bit of what has been happening during the process as he has met our s/w several times.
I would love to hear about your experiences of adopting again and also any advice anyone can give me about including our ds so he does not feel left out when the new child arrives.

OP posts:
hifi · 14/03/2012 13:09

hi,our dd was 5.5 when we got dd2. we didnt say anything initially but she opened my post and found photos of prospective children, i explained we were looking for a sister for her when we finally chose dd2.

we did try and get dd2 before xmas but were held up with paperwork,we didnt start speaking about it again until the week before introductions,by then we had photos to show her and had chosen a new name.

we had to travel quite far for intros and took my parents with us as we met dd2 on our own for the first time. the day after my parents brought dd1 to have a short visit. they bonded immediatley,it was hard leaving dd2 at the foster carers though and dd1 found that difficult to understand.

we also had to wait 4 days after intros for foster carers to bring her to us,she then had to stay in a hotel overnight and we collected her the next morning.

we let dd1 show dd2 around the house,she was a year old. we bought a gift from dd2 to dd1 which went down a treat. they are both really fond of each other.

the second time is easier,i just wanted it over with asap. good luck

monicamary · 14/03/2012 20:27

Hi thank you hifi for telling me about what happened to you.thanks for the advice about taking a gift and letting your dd1 show the your new little one around your house.Its just a waiting game now for us and i understand what you said about wanting it over quickly.

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hifi · 14/03/2012 20:40

I don't know if your ds is at school yet,I found all the explaining rather stressful.some mums were really thoughtful and asked what they should say to their children if they asked where dd2 came from.lots didn't know dd1 was adopted. Some people were really insensitive. You may have to give your ds some coaching on how to explain or not he has a new baby.

hifi · 14/03/2012 20:48

Also I would have everything in your house/life sorted before the arrival.i went from a leisurely school run to a frantic one. Getting one extra person ready in the morning nearly tipped me. Thank god we got her a week befor half term!

The name thing was also a hoo ha,she was registered under her old name for everything. When everything was final I still had to go through both names when making appointments etc. "look under baby wifi,no look under baby hi Fi instead" very strange looks.

monicamary · 14/03/2012 21:10

Hi our ds is due to go to school in sept.Yes i can see what you are saying about what our ds tells other children about himsef being adopted if they ask and also about his new sibling too.
I am hoping that we get a our new dc before ds starts school but we shall see.Fingers crossed.We were lucky last time with only a few months of being accepted to meeting our ds.
Yes i shall have to step up a gear when we do have 2 dcs especially with school run.

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