Making Contact Advice required

[adamskiuk2002]

I'm looking for advice on making contact not to an adopted child, but for where I have been denied all contact for the last 18 years sine she was born.

My stoy is that my partner at the time, after we split up due to unreconcilable differences disappeared with our Baby and told me never to try and find them. (I was even denied knowing she was born at the time, it mas my partners step-mother who gave me the information)

For several years, I tried to locate them without success, recently I have found them on fb and have been overwhelmed by the experience.

At this time I would like for my DD at least to know I exist and if she wants, to make contact. However, I know that her mother may well have nothing good to say about me and the very last thing I want to do is to screw up any first contact even before it happens.

She is now 18 years old so I think the time is right soon to do this, but I have no idea how to proceed. I'm not looking at getting back together with my ex-partner (god forbid!) as we have both moved on and I am happily married.

All suggestions most welcome.

I'd really like to give some good advice, but this is such a specific situation and I'm not sure that the adopters area is the right place for it. Perhaps Legal Issues or something would be better?

Best of luck.

Is your mumsnet name your real name? If so you might want to change it for the sake of anonymity

Have you tried contacting a social worker to ask about your rights, her rights and to see if there is anything that they can help you with?
I only know from an adopted child's perspective - and finding birthparents. That search started with a social worker. They suggested intermediaries to help with making contact, and offered advice that was both practical and realistic.