End of 2011 in adoption land - How's yours been?

[Lilka]

Okay I did this thread last year and I really want to do another this time around :) Sometimes (or lots of the time) adoption is vastly different to regular parenting, so we have our own 'how's your year been' thread. Because people on this thread 'get it'!

I want to hear from everyone - prospectives, approved adopters, people placed and waiting to finalize, and 'seasoned' (read -old like me!) adopters as well. How's 2011 been for you?

My year:

This time last year, I was about to TTC for the final time, trying for a fourth child. Now I've finally given up that route. I'm not really sure if I'll ever have another child now - sometimes going this adoption rollercoaster a fourth time seems a great idea, others it seems absolutely bloody insane I'll just see what happens in the next couple of years

However, I am still going to have a baby in my life anyway, because in May my first grandchild will be making his/her debut! And over christmas I found out exactly what the name shortlists are, and they are gorgeous names! (don't mind sharing them with the people here I "know").

And DD1 is happy. She can't wait to be a mum - although I think she's worried about her own ability to parent given what happened to her and her mental health dx. She hasn't said as much but she has a visible reaction when I drop into the conversation how good a mum I think she'll be. I really think she'll be a brilliant mum I wish she knew that as well. She has great relationships with all her brothers and sisters as well - including the sister who was underage and found on facebook and whos parents are still clueless (sigh). At least sister is 18 now. But they have had a great reunion, and are good friends, which has made DD so so happy

DD2 is definitely the challenging one! I never did end the lockdown I started in November so it lasted to christmas. I think that was the right thing to do for sure. She's a bit better now, she needs routine and structure like she needs oxygen!! Goes to pieces without it. Still I have seen her loving and generous side this year quite a lot, and school are very happy with her so fingers crossed for more home improvements!

DS has gone from strength to strength this year! Still clingy and a bit insecure, but that's how he's always been and I don't expect it to change really. He's funny, happy and basically a joy to parent :) His greatest wishes for 2012 are to become an uncle and get his own treehouse!!

Hi new and old to this adoption site. We have adopted 8 beautiful children, sadly 3 have died but that is the risk we took having children with severe medical issues (that is how I console myself) We have 3 with Down Syndrome age 30, 26, 23, who we are so proud of....I wish more people had their compassion. We also have a beautiful boy now 13yrs deafblind CP and epilepsy but he has a hard 2011 so hoping for a better year! AND at the great age of 64 (me) we were asked to consider a 3 yr old with a rare chromosome disorder she is now 6 and I have met my nemesis much to the amusement of our homegrown children. Good luck to all adopters and would be adopters success is sweet.Happy new year to you all!

Issy, I remember you too

And, erm, kew, I have to admit that for the last 3 months I have been sleeping with dd1. I'm a complete softie at bedtime - sit with both my girls as they fall asleep - I imagine they'll kick me out at some stage, hopefully by puberty...

Issy How could I forget you... I still have your book and it glares at me from time to time Anytime you want it back I can arragne to meet you somewhere.

Glad to hear co-sleeping stories of older children - makes me feel less of a freak!

I missed this thread somehow!
Been a good year for DS2 (adopted). He continues to thrive at his special school and is reading and writing
His challenging behaviour is reserved exclusively for home and I worry that everyone thinks I am making it all up (the trail of destruction tells a different story)
Birth grandmother still sending cards and money (good) but also still allowing birth mum to write all sorts of stuff in them (its her way of getting round SS's letterbox contact ban). Unfortunately because DS can read now it is very tricky intercepting them before he sees them. Thank God he didnt find the Christmas card. I honestly could have jumped in my car and driven over there and given b.mum a slap.

Very difficult year with DS1 (birth child) but helped hugely by the lovely Mary and he seems to have 'come back' to us although he isnt living here. Delayed reaction to DD's death and a fair amount of resentment towards DS2 that he couldnt admit to.

Got involved with SS again due to DS's gf. Sadly things dont seem to have improved since we were involved with them with DS2. She has been treated appallingly by SS and I have now made a formal complaint.

Restarted my OU degree and passed my course! Due to start my next one and have chose The Law and Social Work because I think it might come in handy

So sorry to hear of your losses 2old. I would very much like to be a respite carer for children with complex needs and hope to when my little ones are older.

Happy New Year everyone!

It sounds as though we have all had a (relatively) good year .

For those who are interested, ds1 came with us on a family break for my dad's birthday and was really nice.

And yesterday started a conversation with me.

Pain in the arse about SS, MrsDeVere. I really hoped you might have scared them into being a bit more pro-active . Congrats on the course.

Hey ladies, just to say I've changed my name - for the first time in, ooh, must be 7-8 years. Do you recognise me? It's h__r.

(Just to add: it's feckin difficult to change your name on MN these days; EVERYTHING has been taken! Who would have thought anybody else would come up with Dorcas or Hephzibah?)

Oh, and a question: anyone had experience of PAC courses? I'm thinking of doing a one dayer on adopting BME children, but I'm quailing a bit at the cost. Can anyone tell me it will be worth every penny?

I can't cope with name-changing. I don't like it [whinges]

Dunno about courses, sorry.

Generally I agree, Maryz (tactfully avoiding mention of your namechange!) but I've been a bit too open at times and had a little RL outing incident lately. Nothing serious, but made me think it might be a good idea.

It's actually my first ever name change, and it feels a bit odd - like nobody will know who I am. But then I tread a very light footprint through MN anyway - I must be one of the oldest posters, but still very few people know who I am, which is the way I like it. It's really only this gang that I wouldn't want to 'lose'.