posting here as I want realistic advice asked to provide support and possibly character refernce but I do not agree with the possible adption or guardianship.

[festi]

A lady whos dd is in my dds class at school, tells me that she is "fighting" to adopt her nephew.

I am unsure of the proccess she is going through, but she had a meeting with the childs sw and some not very positive feedback from the class teacher appears to have hindered he case. I did not ask too much as I felt that the amount of info she was giving me and the attitude towards the teacher and school was very negative and she was very openly and loudly talking about this with her and my dd in ear shot, so I kind of just told her I was sorry that had happened and changed the subject.

I feel this lady has either a very mild LD and certainly some anger issues also. general from what I have witnessed she appears very angy and stressed out, her dd is late for school daily and without this appearing judgmental she is very shouty and I feel generaly unkind and narky with the little girl.

Anyway a little while later she approached me and asked if I could acompany her to address the info with the teacher and also could she give my name to the sw to talk to. Put on the spot I told her as our dds are in the same class I felt it would not be appropriate for me to get involved on the school side of things and that as Im a trainee socila worker it may be inappropriate as I could possibly be on placement and encounter the case and that would cause some problems somewhere along the while, she pleaded with me a bit and she said she would ask the sw, even though I have said no.

I was kind of fobbing her off, but I feel that I could not willingly agree that she would make an adequate guardian to the child, I feel pretty mean so I adviced her that maybe she should ask the sw about advocacy services.

I just wanted reassurance really I had done the right thing and if the sw contacts me how do I say I dont reeally want to get involved without giving any opinion?

sorry should have said learning disability rather than LD

Well if you don't agree with her taking on the child because you don't think it's in his best interests then of course you shouldn't support her to do so. If everyone she asks refuses, presumably she'll be unsuccessful. If someone else thinks she would be a good care giver and supports her then it's up to the family court to decide.

Your involvement begins and ends with whether you are happy to support her. As a trainee SW I'd steer well clear just so you don't muddy your professional boundaries.

If she does give yor name to ss and you are contacted by them, you can simply say that you did not agree to be a refrerre for her, that you only know her as a parent of a clasmate of your child. Even if you DID wish to be a referee for adoption you would not be eligible as you do not know her well enough and ( i assume ) for long enough

thanks kristen, that is reassuring. Im not sure she will now though to be honest as she snubbed me today so Im thinking either, the sw explained that to her or she has taken on boared what I had said.

I have always spoken to her and made an effort to say hi, as I witnessed some other mums being very unkind to her at my dds birthday party and so I asked her to come and sit with me. Im sure her intensions are well meaning for her dn, but I just dont think she has the capacity or ability to take this on. Im pretty sure the proccess will highlite these things which will im sure increase her anger.