Would I be turned down straight away?

[RaspberrySheep]

Hello everybody

I am a long time lurker but really hope that you may be able to give me a bit of advice or direction. I have always wanted to adopt. My father was adopted and a really positive upbringing. There are a 'few' things going against me being accepted but also a lot of things that I feel would (hopefully) make me an ideal person to be considered.

I am due to attend an Information Meeting next week but there are two things that I am particularly worried about, that I feel may automatically rule me out of becoming an adopter.

The first is that I can not drive (I am presently taking lessons) and I do not have a car. We live centrally in a lovely community with most amenities on our door step and a bus route at the end of our street, but would not having a car be seen as a major disadvantage?

Secondly and perhaps most concerning is that my sister is known to Social Services. She has learning difficulties and had three children in quick succession which she needed additional support to care for when they were very young. Our family have all been involved in helping my sister whenever she needed us and my mum in particular offers all the emotional and practical help that my sister's children need. SS are still very much involved in their lives and my nephew remains on the child protection register but my sister has found SS to be a good influence in her life and SS are very happy with the progress she is making. There is no question that my sister's children would be removed from her if things continue to improve as they have done.

With this in mind, would I be immediately discounted from the opportunity of becoming an Adopter?

I hope I don't sound too negative about my sister's circumstances. I do love her dearly and she is working very hard to give her children the best upbringing they could have.

Any advice would be very greatly appreciated. I am prepared to invest everything I need to to have the opportunity to become an Adopter and will not be put off very easily.

Thank you very much in advance of any help.

Those two things alone would not rule out the chance of being able to adopt.
Go along to the info evening, listen and ask the sw questions if necessary.
Good luck.
The only people who can say yes or no are the panel. Be totally honest throughout the assesment.

I don't drive and I have adopted. It wasn't an issue (I live in London). I think this would only be a problem if you lived somewhere where not having a car excluded you from participation in your local community and facilities.

They WILL want to know about your sister and be reassured that the situation won't pose issues for any adopted child. But I think it may be considered very positive if you can describe how you as a wider family have managed this and support the dc, and if you can identify how it will help you empathise with what many adopted children have been through.

Best of luck

Thank you so much for your replies - I didn't expect to receive so many responses so quickly, thank you!

I can not tell you how worried I have been about this, I know that there are many other factors that need to be taken into consideration and that I am at the start of a very long road, but I'm feeling a lot more positive that I may have a chance to take things further.

Another adopter here who doesn't drive. I also think the help you have given your sister is more likely to be seen as positive and a credit to you.

Not driving should not affect you being approved but may limit the children you willmbe comsidered for, as you could not drive for introductions

We were matched with a child who was 3 hours drive away. Obviously normal introductions were impossible, but social services paid for us to stay in a nearby holiday cottage for that week. We relied on family to drive us up and down, and cabs while we were there.

It was not ideal, for many reasons, but possible. I can't guarantee all agencies would do this, though.