I'm a Birth mum, getting a magazine deal and I want to send £100 Toys R us vouchers and £100 childrens book vouchers. Would adoptive parents allow this?

[isthisnameavailable]

I'm doing so, I'm doing a two paged spread on how I miss my adopted son (which my son can read when he's older) and they're paying me, so I want him to get something from ot.
(I'm not good at saving money)

He's 10.

What do you think?

This should have started out as; "I'm thinking of doing so, because:"

Do you have letterbox contact at the mo? If so could you contact the letterbox organiser and ask them how you could go about doing this?

Yes it's letterbox contact.
Twice a year.

I could just call them, I'm wondering if they'll say it's innappropriate.

They've already said it's innapropriate to tell him I wanted to keep him (didn't agree to the adoption).
And that I have his name tattooed.
And to act to affectionate (I love you I miss you etc)~

They're really strict, the social services.

I'm an adoptive mother. I'm afraid I just would not accept that much money in vouchers. £200 in vouchers is a huge amount, and I don't actually buy presents for them very often. What would your sons parents do with that amount of money?

Why don't you put the money in a savings account for him? He could have that when he turned 18, and indeed I think my DD2 and DS other mum has some money in savings for them

I also think its way too much - sending money dierctly to his adoptive paretns will allow them to save it for him if you are not good at saving. From memory you have children living with you too? How would you feel if someone gave them £200 in gift vouchers just before christmas.

It feels a bit like divorced parents buying bogger ad bigger toys for the child in order to "win" their affection.

I hope that this article is totally unidentifiable, no location, no photos. Children are very very easily embarrased and he might be truly mortified if he sees it. I would also warn you that I have done an article from the perspective of being an adoptive paretn along with two other families and the headline they used (for one of the other families) was very sensationalised and not what they said at all (something along the lines of "we rescued our baby from a nightmare"). They couldn't get it changed despite the journalist agreeing that they hadn't said it.

I know you think SS are being "strict" but they are thinking of your son and how much pressure he will be put under by you telling him how much you love him and how you didn't want to give him up (subtext - and if I can I will get you back) which is scary for a 10 year old.

Personally I wouldn;t have a big issue with a tatoo unless it was across your forehead!

Thanks for that advice.
I'm trying to keep talk as casual as possible in the letters.
Refering to his new family as his family and nothing else.

The article will have name changes in it.
I think it's not likely that they'll notice it unless I show them it.
The headline is going to be 'I can't forget my first baby' apparently.
I'm telling them not to say I have any ill feeling towards the a-parents, not even jealousy. They can certainly write that I'm not happy with SS.
Anyway It'll be read out to me before I give consent.

Thanks for your veiws.

I would love it if I got those vouchers for my kids, it'd make their x-mas better and the book vouchers would be great.
However, if they've already got everything they need then it would be useless.

I just thought I should share something from the article being published.

I'll start seriously thinking about a savings account for him instead.

Just a word of warning about the 'it will be read out to me before I give my consent bit' - they may well read it out but might not change it if you are not happy, been bitten that way before myself.