To add another name ... or not?

[greygretl]

Hello all. We're just completing the forms for adopting our DS (18 months), placed with us 3 months ago by the local authority. Our SW has asked if we're intending to add another middle name for him, and we're a bit stumped as it's not something we'd previously thought of. We like both his existing forenames, which are pretty conventional in character and spelling. So the quandry is - are three forenames a pretentious mouthful, or would giving him an extra name of meaning to our family be something that might help with his identity in the future, or is him getting our surname plenty? What a conundrum - thoughts and advice much appreciated!

If it helps... we added the middle names we wanted as the first middle name. In official documents, the children have two middle names, at school or swimming club etc., they just have two... their first name and the middle name we gave them. We thought that this would help in the long term, but give a story as to where their middle name came from in our family.

Sorry.. that doesn't read very well. Stick a full stop in after 'two middle names' and it might make sense

I don't think three names is a problem at all! Maybe it would be really nice in future to tell him that you picked one extra name for him when he joined the family, so he has a name from you as well. I'd go for it if you have a name you think would work well with his existing ones, but don't feel you have to. My three have all done different things with their names (one completely kept, one changed all middle names but not first, and one got a new first name), and all of them are happy with their names :)

I have 2 middle names, one conventional and one a bit, well, not! Anyway, some people know both of them and others (on the odd occasions when middle names actually come up in conversation) I just tell the first one. I dont have a problem having a long name though. I think it's quite a nice idea for you to 'give' a name - not something I'd thought about really. When children ask those questions about names you will be able to say that their first name came from their birth parents and that one of their middle names was chosen because..... My ds (birth son) first name is not after anyone, just a name we liked and it's his middle name that has meaning so that would be the one we talked about if the question was asked.

We're adopting a little girl internationally. We're keeping her first name but not her middle name, and we're adding two middle names. One is my aunt's name and the other is the saint's name for her birthday. It's important to me that she has some of us in her name too.

Thank you everyone for the really helpful thoughts - I think we're going to add one as his first middle name (I didn't know that about school registers and so on shockers, thanks for that).

Really appreciate you all having taken the time to reply - really helps, thanks!

We added names.
I wanted to give my DS something from us. I chose one and DD chose one (we asked DS1 but he couldnt come up with anything).

I am so glad we did. DD died a year after DS was adopted and now he has something of hers for ever.

Birth mum was impressed that we did it though.

We added a middle name. So glad we did. Plus I have two middle names myself.

My DS had three names already so we kept them all but didn't add a name ( four would be a bit much!)

DD had two names so we added one and put the new name between the first and third names.

We did it so that both DCs had the same number of names and it was lovely being able to give her a name from us as her first name was given to her by the nurses where she was born and the other by her foster carer.