Adopted children finding out facts only?

[Kayano]

I'm adopted and now also pg at 13 weeks
When the midwife asked about my history I told her I didnt know any medical history etc...

I'm NOT interested in meeting my biological family - my mum is awesome thank you :D but I would like to know more about the situation regarding medical history and reasons for adoption - specifically as my bio mum requested that one of the conditions of my adoption was that I NOT be vaccinated for whooping cough?

Isn't that odd?

She also decided to keep my biological sister. I was an ugly baby though mind, I don't blame her for now wanting a michellin man baby lol

I was adopted through Catholic care but don't know mug about them? I thought catholic adoption agencies had been closed due to their stance on Gay adoption?

Is there Any way I could get any medical information without having to 'make contact?' if not for me but for my baby.

This was triggered by conversations with both midwife and family friend who has big history of breast cancer. I'd hate if baby got something that I might have been able to get some advanced warning of?

Sorry.... That was lOng

I am only 26 and I know I was born in Middlesbrough before being adopted elsewhere - still NE though.

My adopted parents changed my name but I do have the full name of my mother and my sister. I also know my original name as it was the same as birth mother and I sneakily looked it up in the library as a teenager as I never had an actual birth certificate.

I think I will write to catholic care though thanks x

Hi Kayano, I agree with Maryz's advice. Also, I don't know about Catholic Care but it's not the case that all Catholic adoption agencies were shut down- but some Catholic adoption agencies chose to close rather than comply with anti-discrimination legislation.

Very best of luck. Let us know how you get on.

I believe most dioceses have a post adoption worker who can tell you/ give you what is in your file. Usually it isn't a lot. You are most likely to find out ages, names, jobs and basic info about height, weight, build etc.

You are entitled to the info in the file and it will have been kept even if the specific agency involved is no longer around.

If you want more information then the most realistic way to gain it might be through contact of some sort even if just by letter and through an intermediary. You could speak to norcap a charity involved in supporting those affected by adoption for more information.

How old are you if I can ask?

There was a hysterical MMR/Wakefield-like nationwide hiccup with the whooping cough vaccine in the late 70's, so taken in historical context might not be too odd. (Like the MMR hubbub it turned out to do more damage for so many kids not to have the jabs and there was a big increase in whooping cough cases in the next few years)

Family history for a person is far more concerned with first degree relatives - the risk from those more distant than Mum, Dad, Brother or Sister is much less.

I agree with all the suggestions above. But yoi have to be realistic, there is probably nothing about your family medical history on file.the only way you will get anythimg is to make contact with your birth famiy and ask for it. Sorry, but i woulndt like you to get your hopes up

Kayano - weirdly, this is my first foray onto the adoption pages as I had my adoption file opened the other day to look for medical information too. It has now opened up the question of whether and how to search for any birth relatives.
Although, as suggested, there is not much apart from basic medical information, in my case it did rule out a few ideas and confirm a few suspicions. If I need to really delve, I too would have to speak to family member. Would you benefit from finding out? Are there any genetic tests that can be done that are quicker, inexpensive and emotionally less costly that could be done?

Hi my DH did this, he was able to retrieve his adoption file from Social Services with copies of absolutely everything in it, statements from social workers, letters his biological mother had written, letters his mum and dad wrote in connection to bringing him home and then a thank you letter once they'd received him. It was a complete background into his adoption and it was fascinating reading. However, there was nothing medical whatsoever contained in the file with regard to his biological parents, just his own medical history, colds etc.

He discovered the reason behind him being put up for adoption, the name his biological mother gave him, the names of his older half brothers and sisters. In fact he had names, dates and addresses and if he'd wanted to try and find any of his family members I imagine it would be very easy for him, but he didn't even Google their names. He only looked for the information though because his adoptive mother refused to talk about his adoption or anything to do with it.

He was adopted through a church agency also, not Catholic though a CofE agency I can't remember the name now, but it was remarkably easy for him to get the information he required, although quite a lengthy process. He did have to meet with a SW and discuss it with her before she handed the paperwork over.

DH has now put the file away in a drawer and forgotten about it, now he knows the facts he doesn't need or want to meet his biological family. He is very happy with his decision.

Most birth mothers are quite young.how much of your family medical history did you knwo about /care about when you were 20? let alone the medical history of your bf at the time?

Usually Its only when you get a bit older that you begin to care about these things as you see the relevance.

RE the whooping cough thing, my MIL told me that there was a huge drama about the safety of the vaccine and she did not have either of DP's siblings vaccinated (they are in their early 30s) so perhaps that is where your birth mother was coming from?

IME diocesan agencies obsessively keep everything.
I was able to find my details because of this.
SS used to shred all adoption papers, that stopped in the mid 70's.

Be aware that the only medical info will be what was known at the time.
I have contact with my bm and have found out about all sorts of chronic illnesses that weren't known about in the 60's.
Fortunately i'm ok but was interested to find out that my very long, difficult induction with DD mirrored what bm went through with me.

Just a brief note (sorry to derail) - I understand what you mean about not wanting to find your biological mother because your adoptive mother is awesome, but phrasing it like that is potentially hurtful to adopted children (like me) who have chosen to reunite with birth parents. I didn't seek my birth mother because my adoptive mother was somehow inferior; she is indeed awesome, but that didn't stop me wanting to meet my BM.

Interesting point Hengshan, I'm an adoptive mother and I would quite understand DS wanting to know more information about his birth mother - I would too in his position. In fact I am deparate to know more about his birth mother myself despite the anxiety the thought of it induces in me!

My aunt was adopted (now in her 60's) so I have some experience of it form the other side of the coin as it were and she knew her BM but not BF. And over the years I have also talked to a great many people, adoptees, adopters and neither, and there is often a common (mis) conception that everyone who was adopted must want to know who their real parents are. In my very unscientific study it seems to be roughly 60:40 on the side of searching and seems to depend entirely on your personality rather than the circumstances.

Some people are "here and now" people (like my sister) who are "do-ers", they don't see the relevance of what has gone before only what is now and still to come. Other people (like me) are fascinated by how we got where we are, in hostory and the chain of events that gave us our skills and abilities (not implying that these are only genetic but are of course also opportunistic and situational). In a massive simplification the latter type like me are generally far more driven to search than the former like my sister. Though I know there is evidence that life changing situations (eg giving birth) tend to prompt thoughts of searching too.

My point, which has got a bit lost, is that the default position form the general public to being adopted is always (IME) the presumption that you want to know and I have found that people who have declined to search feel the need to justify it. I don't think that the OP in anyway was trying to coorelate searching with quality of parenting but was just being defensive of her own lack of desire to meet her BM.

And added to that some people don't realise how much the desire to search has been muted by the fear of hurting a much loved parent until that fear is lifted (often sadly by the death of a parent).

Oops srry I think that has tunred into a bit of an essay

Kewcumber - I'm a 'life changing situation' searcher for BM and family. I don't know whether i didn't search before because i had little interest, little time (too busy living life!) or as i believe a respect for my parents. Perhaps a combo of all 3? I don't think i would class it as fear of hurting a parent, but out of love and respect for our real parents - those that brought us up.

I don't see how your adoptive mother being awesome, has any relation to whether or not you'd meet your birthmother.
I should hope that meeting ones birthparent isn't a sign of disappreciating the adoptive parent/s