Just as a wonder, is foster to adopt and concurrency only for babies as a general rule?
Just wondering how it would work with a toddler. If they call the temporary carer/future parent mummy/daddy and then are returned to birth parents, that seems extra confusing and disruptive to the child, alternatively if they don't and then they become permenant, then the names change I would think that could have less of an impact on the stability others adopted get from being introduced to their adoptive parents as 'forever parents'. Although it works when foster carers adopt their foster children and that happens, so maybe not!
I kind of sit on the fence with this whole topic. I can see the benefits to the child obviously but I think it is too big an ask of childless couples who've been waiting years for a child (I can put our children above our needs in every other way) AND I don't think it is fair on birth parents (for concurrency) as essentially you're telling them we are working with you but we're putting in a back up because we think you're probably not going to be able to do it. I think it feeds that conspiracy theory about SS hiding their intentions.....or does it? I don't know. I could have that completely wrong.
Realistically we said we would only do it if the BP of our children had another child who she was unable to care for, figuring that even if returned to her care, or another family members, what a lovely opportunity for our children to live with their sibling for at least a little bit. Plus as we now have children we atleast wouldnt be left with an empty house. However, I've now changed my mind on that, because what impact would it not working have on our AC? I'm not convinced a great one. They have siblings they've lived with they can no longer see, it's not good.
I do also worry that with the large number of adopters and fewer children waiting at present, some people might say yes to it when they have doubts they could deal with it all if it when wrong. If I was told it could take 2-3 years to find a match but the other way maybe quicker I could see myself saying well I won't rule it out, rather than, no its not something I can handle. It's not the same as a disability or extra need, in my mind anyway, because you're not having to worry what the impact to the child would be if you couldn't cope because the child by that point would be gone, so it's a risk you can take.
Like I said...anyone who can do either I have a great deal of respect for and I can certainly see with babies (only babies due to my above concern with toddlers) the massive positive impact it could have to attachment etc.
Sorry, that's my thoughts all spilled out on it...but in case anyone is thinking something similar, you're not alone! It's definitely just my thoughts and opinions though, that's all!