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Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

starting the process again after 8 years

4 replies

readysalted · 16/05/2011 19:07

i keep dithering about it we have been so obsessed happy with dd not sure we are doing the right thing i so want to feel the same again about another little love joining our small family dd wants to be a big sister so much i know its right for her i just dont know if its right for me [dont want to come accross as selfish but i proberbly are sounding like a right selfish mare]

OP posts:
RipVanLilka · 16/05/2011 19:52

Don't worry I dithered for a while before committing a second time. You're not selfish for thinking hard about it. I waited until DD1 was 16 going on 17 before I went through approval again. I knew one child wasn't enough for me, but I had so many worries..I couldn't imagine loving another child as much as DD1 (which sounds really stupid now that I have three, and love them all as much as each other), and I worried I wouldn't be able to give DD1 the attention she needed, and I wasn't getting any younger and wondered whether I had enough energy! I knew I wanted another older girl, but I knew what I was getting into this time around, and worried whether I would take on too much. The worry about money, and space, and all that lot!!

I know you know this already, but only do it if it's really what you want, not just because of your DD. It can be lovely to have a sibling, but sometimes it isn't so good, so it's wise to take a while to think on it before doing anything

I certainly don't regret doing it a second (and third) time, but DD2 is definitely the hardest of my three to parent, and it was a big shock to the system to have another at home, even though she did not move in till DD1 have left home! Your concerns are all valid, and not selfish. Adoption is a whole family decision

It's good to here you're so happy together though :)

Maryz · 16/05/2011 22:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hester · 16/05/2011 22:41

Oh it's hard, isn't it. What a leap in the dark. I don't know what to advise, except to echo Rip that you should do this if it feels right for you, not because your dd is lobbying for a sibling.

Nearly 10 months on from bringing dd2 home, we are very happy Smile

hifi · 17/05/2011 09:01

we founnd it much easier the 2nd time aroundhen i see both of mine playing and fighting i know it was absolutly the right idea. we also wanted each of them to hopefully have someone in later life they could rely on if anything happend to us.
was a right shock going back to nappies though.

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