help..re previous posting bout AD/social services

[babybear5]

Hi guys..i recently posted here about problems i was having with my daughter. I was wondering if it was attatchment disorder because after asking social services for assistance with our difficulties my husband and i were told we were emotionally abusing our child! We have since discovered today that the school has been reporting every little thing to social services for over a year...why, we are not sure and when i contacted them for help they put all this together and suddenely we seem to be in trouble. We are waiting to find out at what level the next meeting with them will be at but it has been hinted that it may go to childrens panel worse case senario! I don't know what i should do or be doing... Has anyone been through anything similar?

See FASO for help www.false-allegations.org.uk/ they have a helpline and a useful guide to dealing with SS under the child protection tab on their website.

thank you...i will check that out

Babybear - oh, I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. Do you have a post-adoption suppot worker? You should come under one and they should be able to support you with whatever comes your way. They should also be clued up on Attachment disorders stuff, school liaison stuff and the rest. MPD

As we adopted our daughter 6 years ago and moved to a different area we have had no post adoption support. I discovered today after a phone call to my social worker that she hasn't been there for a 'friendly chat' What they were actually doing was an initial assessment. We also found out that at school concerns were raised...such as dirty nails!! persistant headlice!!! (which she had never even had!) no jacket some days, sent to school unwell?? The list goes on and it baffles me. She isn't able to communicate her feelings well and will answer yes to any questions asked!! We have been in constant touch with the school and as each issue came up we spoke and dealt with it. Little did we know they were obviously 'keeping an eye on us'.

Now, because i asked for help with the emotional detatchment we have, not knowing all this was on file, it just goes from bad to worse.
It really makes me doubt my ability as a mother and if wasnt for the fact that i have 4 other healthy 'clean' well adjusted children apart from my daughter, i would be seriously worried about myself.

Think we now just have to await the outcome of social work meeting to find out what we have to do next.
As we have been accused of being out when we were supposed to have home visits(which is rubbish, cos as a mum of 5 i have to be super organised and it goes on the calendar!)i have done some research and asked for SW files to be available to me to see exactly what they have said. I am going in fighting.

Sorry this seems a bit jumbled but think i am still in shock that this is actually happening

You should still come under 'Post-Adoption' support, wherever you are now - just by the virtue of having an adopted child.

Certainly this is the case here in Bristol - I know because I asked our Post-adoption aupport worker (who is brilliant) about a new family who joined my Toddler group and who have a DD whom they adopted in the USA (they are American, and have been in the UK for 4 years or so and their DD was just beginning to show signs of 'post-adoption struggles'). The response was that just by living in Bristol with an adopted childmeant they could access support.

Where are you now based?

Keep remembering those 4 'clean' children...you are a good Mum. But Reactive Attachment Disorder and Secondary Trauma can mess about with your mind and make you doubt all sorts of things about how you parent/care, plus you have a DD with significant limitations and presumebly a school who have started to make decisions or raise concerns based on their limited knowledge of special needs and child protection combined. They probably haven't even considered RAD or ever encountered it. Their approaching SS without more discussion with you is pretty appalling and horrible for you and I am sorry that you are having to deal with this on top of your concerns about DD. Thinking about you lots. MPD