Help cant decide

[TheLovingLemonBee]

Hi all
My daughter has a offer for durham and york university she wants to study physcology but she is really struggling to choose. We no york is better for the course but durham is closer ( we live in newcastle. York is a great little city but as she is Autistic she is further from home but is worried she wont fit in at durham due to the ppsh kids i am a single parent and she is the first to go to uni so i have no clue. To help her i have tried to arrange open days and i feel durham communicates better tham york but she wants to make her decision before these visit dates and she is happy to go off the online tour whethers i dont agree i honestly feel you should visit first and get a feel for a place before you move there , we just cant seem to decide what would be best id prefer durham so she is closer to home as i struggle with travel i am also ND myself but i want to fit in and be happy to i also no york is better for her course. Any advice to help us decide ?

Hi @TheLovingLemonBee this board is for university-based professionals talking about working in an HEI.
You'll get more responses on the Further education forum: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/higher_education

Congratulations to your DD for securing both offers. My eldest DD went to Durham and studied Psychology as her first degree. Her Masters and PhD were at other Universities.

I wouldn’t go purely off league tables as you need to look at what is the best fit for your daughter and what she wants to do in future.
The “ Durham factor” has served our daughter well and she has a successful career in Psychology at a high level. State educated we aren’t “posh” but I understand your concerns.

You need to get a feel for the universities and colleges. College choice is very important.
I’d suggest asking for an individual visit away from open days which can be busy and overwhelming.

I have extensive personal and professional knowledge of autism. A quick look at online ASD support information shows a flexible open minded approach at Durham including inviting parents to contact. York info looks far more stereotypical with some outdated language.
Please apply for DSA. Good luck.

Try not to worry too much - they are both great options.

I'd say that you will find the posh in all selective universities. And she should be proud of herself and her background.

There are plenty of middle-class students who are neurodivergent too, and students with shared interests will generally get on!

Depending on how close you are to a train station, she could commute to either Durham or York if she doesn't take to living in student accommodation. So, she has lots of choices.

Does she have PIP? She might be able to access travel support to manage the journey to university.

Give her confidence to make the choice she thinks she wants. It probably won't matter much either way!

My son is at York. Don’t know about your DD course but he’s third year and loved his time there. Be aware accomodation is expensive if that’s a factor!

Thank you we have just arranged a visit for feb can i ask what does accomidation roughly cost im sure my DD will get a grant as im not working now she is doing physcology. Im glad your son is enjoying it there.

Thank you i have said that to her so i might read these replies out then she might take it on board im very proud of her but its scary for me as shel be a few hrs away from home so i want her to make the right choice , we have just managed to book visits to each which she was against doing but i think you need to get a feel of the place . She wants to live in the university and gain some independance. She does get pip but theyl probs not renew that once shes's at uni that is generally the case. X

Thank you thats very helpful ive managed to book visits for both which i agree you need a feel for both to deciede i think the leaque tables for her course are better at york , durham just made more sense to me because she can visit home more and if she hated living there then she could commute instead. Whethers york she couldnt , my head is frazzled as ive no clue about the finance side are nothing . I was made redundant recently so it has left me wondering if its all possible . Glad your daughter enjoyed durham and well done to her to x

Re finance DSA should help. Our youngest DD qualified for this at another Uni and it paid for a laptop with specialist software and the difference between a standard and en suite room.