Line manager wants me to invite a visiting speaker where there is uncomfortable history

[OhBuggerandArse]

Hoping you can help me be strategic about this.

I am responsible for organising our regular seminar series. My line manager has on more than one occasion asked me to invite a visiting speaker who raped a friend of mine. It was a very long time ago and he was never charged. It was reported years after the fact but the police felt too long had elapsed to investigate. I have told my line manager as tactfully as I could that I would find this difficult, and explained why as far as I could when it is not my story to tell, but she clearly didn't take it in and has just suggested him again.

I really don't want to have to either invite him or introduce him, but am unsure how to handle this when there is no 'proof' or and I can't give an evidenced account of why I feel strongly about it. It's not the kind of thing anyone should gossip about, and the last thing I would want is to turn my friend's experience into something that becomes about me.

Can any of you suggest the best way to phrase a response or help me with a strategy for how to handle this situation?

I think the prospective speaker doesn't deserve the courtesy of you avoiding mentioning the problem. As with the Gisele Pelicot trial, the shame shouldn't be on those who are victims or have heard/supported the accusation. I think you should tell your line manager straight that your friend said he raped her; that while the police declined to press the case, you believe her; and therefore, obviously, you don't want to invite him as a guest speaker. That can be done without outing your friend but also then dispell in g the idea that it's your personal history, eg a fling you and he had, that you're referring to. I agree with the pp who said that's what your line manager may well be imaging the issue is.

At the same time you will have to remember that this hasn't been proved in court, and you can say to your line manager that you understand she may want to disregard that and invite him anyway, but you hope she'll understand why you feel you can't and won't. Let her take on the responsibility of inviting a known rapist herself. Who knows, there may be some other white middle aged man with a publication to promote out there who can be invited instead. I believe there are a few of them.

It doesn't expose OP to libel for OP to say "I had a friend who said he raped her. I believe my friend so I really don't want to see him". Those are statements based on disclosed facts.

Fgs there’s no risk of libel here

I’d honestly say ‘I really don’t want to ask him, my friend reported him to the police for rape. If you would like him to speak please could another member of staff host him’

Some good suggestions here. I wouldn't suggest another person should invite this man because that still gives him a nice line on his CV and contact with your university's students etc. I'd tell manager explicitly that this man assaulted a friend and you don't want to have any contact with him.

I was once on a prize committee giving out senior academic prizes. One of the nominees was a man who spent an afternoon making inappropriate comments to me (when I was a young PhD student) 20 years before. So I made sure he didn't get the prize and that the committee knew why.

And what if it gets back to this man that this is the reason he's not been invited to speak? You think he'll just say, oh true, I am a rapist, never mind. Or will he raise holy hell to clear his name, at which point OP will be asked to substantiate her argument somehow? And when she can't the department will side with this man?

I mean it absolutely stinks but I think it's naive to think you can call someone a rapist and there's no chance of it getting around and causing a big drama.

I would just leave it more vague and distance myself. I think standing your ground and refusing to invite conveys that it's serious without opening up a line of attack for this guy.

And it's great you did that, but that was your personal experience with the guy, not a friend's.

I have also done a lot to exclude these types of men from all sorts of things but you have to be careful how you do it.

It’s not unnecessary. The OP has mentioned the manager has asked her REPEATEDLY.

It's annoying for the OP that she has yo have another conversation about this but that still doesn't justify aggression.

I'd focus on the reputational risk aspect and suggest alternative speakers.

Nothing about what I posted was aggressive.try googling the meaning of the word before throwing it about. This women’s friend was RAPED. This man forced himself inside her and your concerned about the tone of her having to repeatedly explain she is uncomfortable.

give me a fucking break

Yes, I’d go with something like this - saying that the speaker had potential reputational risk and did not align with core values of the company, or something like that. And suggest alternatives to fill the gap.

Just say that you knew of this person a long while ago, and you absolutely refuse to have anything to do with him under any circumstances. Say to your boss that if they want him as a speaker, then someone else will have to arrange it instead.

That is blunt enough, and surely even an idiot could read between the lines and realise that you may have good personal reasons for disassociating yourself.

I think I would just say something like 'Do you remember I told you about this person, there is a back story which I cannot go into details of. I cannot invite them or introduce them.'

If necessary I might add, it's a potential safeguarding issue, or even a potential PR nightmare if these issues come to light.

Then I would suggest some other speakers who would be better than them.

Do you have any EDI representatives you can speak to in confidence about this? Either in your department or an EDI unit in HR? I think that would likely be my approach if you have already tried to directly address it with a line manager which didn't work, to get advice from someone within the organisation who knows things (e.g. our Dept EDI rep would be on the Dept management board, and while HR sounds like a blunt instrument we actually have a really good EDI unit in ours that I've discussed things confidentially with and they've supported me in contacting other units in the Uni as well as interfacing with the rest of HR) and can potentially either be the messenger or give you more targetted advice.

Academic line manager here (though not one that would dream of telling someone how to organize their seminar series). Agree say the facts "my friends says he raped her and I believe her" recuse yourself. Have it in writing and cc HR

Unfortunately the law of defamation is quite a bit more complicated than this, and there is a high risk of a libel or slander claim if the OP says what you suggest.

Effectively it is for the judge to determine meaning and there is a large volume of case law which says that a statement that x has been reported to the police for y actually means x did y, or that there are reasonable grounds to suspect that x did y. And the onus would then be on OP to prove that x is indeed a rapist in circumstances where the police declined to prosecute and there is presumably no forensic or corroborative evidence just one persons word against another’s.

I would tell her in person exactly what happened.

I think what people forget sometimes is that an employer has a duty of care towards us, particularly to try prevent us from being put in any situation where we may be in danger or where someone may verbally abuse or assault us.

That's why you don't put it in writing.

Slander is very difficult to prove and it's also so very unlikely that a conversation with her boss would reach the ears of the rapist.

And a defence to libel and slander is truth. Plus you only have to demonstrate that on the balance of probabilities, not beyond reasonable doubt as in a criminal case.

It's not, though. It is a potential repuational risk for the organisation, made even worse if your company is well known and work directly with large numbers of women (e.g. some form of support services, directly supporting women back into the workplace, standing up for women's rights, like Pregnant Then Screwed) / have published policies supporting women/speak at women's events/make a big thing of international women's day etc. (I didn't phrase that well, but hopefull you get what i mean.)

I don't think I would make the issue about you, because then it sounds like the issue could be something trifling like you dated this person and don't want the embarassment of seeing them again. It is difficult because, as you say, it isn't your story to tell. I would be tempted to say a variation of what @Thunderpants88 suggested.

I will willingly give you a break by making this my last comment to you as you are now being aggressive (a word whose meaning I have understood very well for years and without needing to google it) to me.

I don’t disagree that slander is a more difficult claim to bring but on the burden of truth point in libel cases the balance of probabilities is a sliding scale (.ie it’s not 51/49) and the more serious the allegation particularly if it’s an allegation of a criminal offence, the higher the burden on the person making the statement to prove it is true

I would think the chance of the intended speaker finding out he was not invited to speak because of these reasons AND him then drawing attention to it with legal action are tiny. He'd probably get a ton of #metoo women coming out to say it's happened to them as well.

I would be straight about it and stick to the facts but be careful about anything written down.

See your EDI office and get advice how to handle it...this is important so you protect yourself.