Feeling desperate

[Fkintired]

I don't really know where to discuss this or if anyone can relate.

I'm an academic at a large university. I've been struggling so much with constant anxiety due to the pressure and work load put on us recently... I'm constantly feeling sick, overwhelmed and struggling to sleep. I'm frequently preparing sessions the night before and have no time for anything else.

I feel like I'm a shit teacher and all of this has manifested into stage fright. We are constantly being monitored and evaluated by students, who can be brutal. I feel like I want to give up completely.

Try not to care so much

Buy chat GPT and ask it to do some of your work for you

So, I’m guessing your university had a lot of redundancies and those remaining saw their teaching load skyrocket. First, do not work a load of unpaid overtime. You need time to relax to be an effective instructor. Second, teaching in a case like this needs to be good enough, not perfect, not stellar. Can you get in a guest lecturer or two, do a guided activity, flip the classroom, even watch a film once in a while, or do a local field trip to alleviate the lecture preparation? Third, whilst you want to be competent, don’t worry about the student evaluations so much. I had students criticise me for my hair cut, my voice, my accent (I’m American), all sorts of rot. If you are in UCU, there is a good course online about saying no to excessive workload. It gives techniques for rejecting service work, etc. Lastly be kind to yourself. HE in the UK right now is horrific in a lot of universities, and don’t let this affect your emotional or physical health. Good luck.

Not an academic but I work in programme admin in HE.
We see the stress our academics are under and I can imagine just how tough you are finding it.

One thing that had increased a lot at our uni is the amount of pastoral care that the academics are expected to take on (despite us having a great wellbeing/student support team). It’s absolutely nuts.

My other half is an academic at another uni and he is constantly stressed out- he wakes up at 5 each morning to respond to the barrage of emails he gets - this is a lot to do with him taking in other roles alongside teaching as there are not enough staff. He is still working on emails at 9/10pm at night.

The attitude and expectations put upon teaching staff is a heavy burden.

what level do you teach, OP?
i teach mostly postgrads, and i love it - but would struggle with undergrads.
i have crippling anxiety at the moment and i don t have a solution except for turning on airplane mode on my phone and playing mind numbing games to soothe the panic.

i am considering sick leave, but genuinely concerrned at the pay back on return, with a workload on steroid.