Hello lovely academic folks. I did a full time masters this year (what was I thinking at my age, 36). It was an amazing year, it was very daunting at first, but I made some great friends in the end and wouldn't change my decision to go back to uni for the world.
It was a very tough year though. I'd left my full-time job in audit to study something completely different, lots of family and friends thought I was a bit nuts, but i was miserable doing what I was doing before. Sadly, my fiance and I also split during this year, so our wedding this summer was not meant to be either. I'd also been working on a business I run on the side this year as well, so it's generally been overwhelming with customers needing me too.
The past few months, alongside my business, I'd been working non stop on my dissertation. I don't remember the last time I had a day off or free time really. The dissertation took it out of me, I almost could not finish it as I was feeling like I was at burn out point two days before submitting. But I got it handed in and now I feel... bleurgh
Firstly, I'm panicking that the dissertation is complete garbage, that my supervisor will laugh at it when she sees it. I didn't get much supervision at all apart from a few meetings, they promised to comment on our draft diss but the supervisor never bothered. Even worse, I am not confident about my data for it, and worried i've completely cocked up this part of the analysis and it's all wrong, wrong, wrong. Then I'm also panicking about plagiarism - I cited every source, but I'm just really paranoid that I'll be called into an academic hearing and told i've copied something, or self-plagarised. I know I was already on track for a distinction and just needed to pass the diss, but I'm in a loop of negative thoughts now. I never thought this would be how I feel after completing the masters.
Secondly, I've felt a HUGE sense of anticlimax. I felt like I'd achieved a huge amount on my diss, but none of my friends and family really cared, haven't bothered to read it yet despite telling e.g. my close family this is my biggest achievement. I shared it in a WhatsApp with family and all I've seen since is the usual stupid memes, not even a congrats or well done from my sisters. I also feel like since doing this masters, my friendship from before have felt different and like they've drifted. I don't know, it feels weird.
Thirdly, I've been EXHAUSTED ever since handing the diss in. I missed an appointment this morning because I overslept, I've not left the house yet, I have no idea what to do with this additional free time (outside of my business), and just feel a bit lost. I'm planning to start applying for jobs relating to my masters soon, but I've just been completely exhausted.
Have any other mumsnetters been here and felt like this? I don't get my grades for months, not sure I will cope feeling this way for months on end.