R&R outcome, resubmit and second viva

[phdstress]

In 2022 I failed my PhD viva and was given a revise and resubmit outcome. It was awful. Six years plus of part-time study alongside a demanding career. I felt like such a failure and the feelings of grief and devastation were so acute I couldn’t get out of bed for several days.

I did post about this experience on here in the days and months afterwards and had some very kind words of support that got me through the darkest days. It took a lot of therapy snd a year to come to terms with the outcome.

I’ve spent the past 14 months revising the thesis and working with a new supervisor who has been very supportive. I submitted the revised thesis (after a lot of mental anguish and after temporarily deciding not to) in April.

My second viva is in several weeks, with the same examiners and chair. The previous viva was awful - I’m sure I have some level of PTSD from it. My supervisor has also advised me to attend in person, rather than online, which is making me feel quite sick. The last viva was awful and the internal examiner in particular really challenged several areas and didn’t like the structure.

I’m convinced I’ll fail this viva, after the stress of last time and although I’ve done a lot of work, my trust in the institution and my supervisors is very low. They advised me, ahead of the first submission, that my work was good - my secondary supervisor said he’d be “gobsmacked” I’d get anything more than minor corrections. They were apparently very shocked and surprised at the result, and they’ve really kept their distance following the outcome and my working with another supervisor.

Basically, I’m going in feeling terrified, anxious, stressed, and very alone. I don’t have a sense from my primary supervisor - the subject matter expert - whether my work is good enough.

I’m going back and forth about whether to pull out. Recalling the sheer grief I felt after the last exam, and years and years of hard work and sacrifice resulting in failure, it was difficult to get over. These feelings are starting to creep in again.

Any advice from those who’ve been through a R&R verdict and had a second viva very welcome.

I’m sorry to hear you have had such a difficult time. I found the whole viva process very stressful, not a happy experience at all. Not one nice comment was made about my work through the whole thing, and I left feeling like I had wasted 4 years of my life. I’m not surprised you are questioning going through it again after your experience, which sounds horrible and far worse than mine.

You do not have to do the viva if you don’t want to, it’s 100% your choice. But it does sound like your new supervisor understands your work. Could you request a change of examiners? So you feel like it will be looked at with fresh eyes?

does your second viva have an independent chair? The chair should have an active role in ensuring that the examiners stick to the rules and give you a fair hearing.

have you looked carefully at the comments the examiners gave after the first viva and responded to them? If so, you can go into the new viva with the feeling that you've done what you can and if they don't like it, that is their failure not yours.

@phdstress How are you? What was your decision in the end? I hope you're happy with the outcome, whatever you decided to do.