Am I just not cut out for this anymore?

[Camorra]

I'm struggling at the moment with study at the moment and I don't know whether I'm trying to fit a square peg in a round hole or whether I'm just expecting too much, too fast.

Any opinions welcome!

I've always "got" academics. I have a first class degree, a distinction in my first masters and two professional qualifications. I've been in the working world for the last 15 years and I'm now back in academia doing a Masters in a different field and I have funding for a PhD (assuming I pass the Masters). I knew there would be learning required and I'd need to put work in to get back in the flow but thought that I'd be okay as I have done a Masters before.

But on the first four pieces of assessed work I've had back, I'm scoring high 50s/low 60s. I know this isn't awful and it's still a pass but it's a big step away from where I was up to. I'm doing lots of reading, attending all teaching and working roughly a 9-5 on it.

The feedback has been that my writing style is fine (I always get a distinction for my presentation and referencing) and my ideas have potential but I've let myself down in the execution. Twice, I've misinterpreted some of the assessment criteria and in others I've focused too much on certain aspects.

I'm trying to work out if I've lost the knack of this and almost aged out of the memory and abilities to do education at this level. I don't feel like I'm taking it easy or not putting the effort in and yet I'm not seeing the results. I'm reading the grading rubic, I'm rereading before submitting etc.

I'm thinking of speaking to my lecturers for further feedback but honestly, I'm a little embarrassed.

On the other hand, I'm thinking maybe I'm being too harsh on myself and that the learning curve may just be greater than I thought and I need to give it some time.

Any thoughts?

What jumps out for me here is that your MA is in a new field.

I've taught students in this position, and with profiles like yours. There is usually a steep learning curve, and they get good results in the end.

Do speak to your lecturers. Discussion of assessments (ideally in advance) will help. But even apart from discussing assessments, talking to them will help you with broader understanding of your new discipline.

In case it's relevant, be careful not to lean too much on interdisciplinary approaches for originality, at this stage. Having something else in the background can be a huge advantage, but take the time to become secure in your current specialism. (I have seen some strong students who want to bring in all their perspectives and advantages from other fields - a noble aim, but it has often been at the expense of grappling with new perspectives and methods).

Good luck

Honestly I'm early 40s back to studying and darn is it hard. There is also a totally different style of writing required for my current study as it's therapy. Plus the institution seems to love referencing over new ideas. I think leaving the study muscle out of use can lead you to stagnate. Plus we all have way too much competing pressures in adulthood. Give yourself a break but also meet with your tutor to up your game so that you can consistently get in the 60s which is perfectly achievable from where you are. Are you spending enough time on the work or reading the criteria too quickly and rushing?

Thanks both.

I feel like I'm spending a good amount of time. I'm doing lots of reading and planning. I'd feel better if it was a rushed one that then didn't score very highly but these are pieces I'm putting a lot of effort into and are still scoring lower than expected.

I'm clearly not getting something and it's really frustrating to see myself going backwards.