Mansplained left and right by colleagues

[aridapricot]

A bit of a vent/rant sorry. I am HoD in a department where the mode is white male colleagues, mid-towards-end career ca. 10-15 years older than I. This wasn't honestly too much of an issue before I became HoD but this year since teaching started I keep being mansplained left and right. A colleague felt the need to explain to me in an e-mail what a specific subdiscipline in our field is (a smallish but very visible one these days - think a doctor explaining to another what Public Health is). Another said that we cannot offer a PGT course in a certain field because only colleagues A and B (both male) have expertise in the field... a field on which I have published three books with prestigious publishers. When I try to engage colleagues in discussions about future directions, a large chunk of the meeting is dedicated to stating and paraphrasing the absolutely obvious, as if I couldn't possibly have thought of that (like "if you want to grow PGT numbers you have to come up with an idea for which there is student demand!"). Another colleague even questioned whether I had correctly interpreted post-MAB university guidance (there wasn't really much room for misinterpretation). Is this normal? What do you do to avoid being mansplained? Luckily my line manager did inadvertently witness a couple of instances of colleagues mansplaining me and she was unimpressed at them and very supportive of me - otherwise I don't think I would have dared bringing these things, lest I am imagining things.

Call them out on it. Every time.

”Yes, thank you for mansplaining that to me. But I’m looking for specific suggestions for meeting student demand at PGT level. Do you have any?”

<with concerned head tilt> ”Is there a reason why you think that obvious point had eluded me? Do you perhaps need to refresh your unconscious bias training?”

This is depressingly, but predictably, common in academia, given that HoDs are usually in the weird position of having to line manage people more senior than them. Unless you are in a department where those senior colleagues are so bloody relieved that they don’t have to do the role again, and so rally round, which has largely been my experience. There’s one department at my university that was notorious a few years back for a senior male academic basically bullying the female HoD out of her job. But I can’t think of another sector where the leadership role rotates and your senior colleagues are actually your direct reports. It’s totally dysfunctional (though I do understand why it’s the way it is, as the alternatives are arguably worse).

Sounds utterly infuriating. But if you can as PP suggested you do need to call them out on it publicly each time. Instead of questioning yourself, start getting angry.

Next time just say "yes that's right, glad you understand, anyway back to suggestions /etc"

Yep call them out on it. I have this a lot as work in cybersecurity in a tech firm, so will be on calls with male colleagues who will feel the need every now and then to stop and define for me a term or system that they were talking about.

Eg 'Cyber, if you weren't aware AWS KMS is like a safe where we keep our encryption keys, and it's managed by Amazon Web Services'.

I make it a point to always reply with something like 'Yes I'm aware thank you Mr Twatface, if you recall I worked with you to document those procedures and helped you to understand which configuration options would bring about the most benefit and work best for our solution.'

Yeah completely agree @GCAcademic about the awkwardness of the HoD role. Most of the people I "line-manage" are more senior than I. Tbf I did anticipate that this would be a problem...
It seems from the answers that the only way is to call people out and not let it go. I had an e-mail today from the colleague who manages PhD admissions, saying that he got a new application but he didn't think there was anyone on our team who could supervise it and hence would we need to look at a collaboration with another department. I pointed out, complete with links, that the topic the candidate wants to work on is a topic I have two peer-reviewed publications in (which is not a lot but many of the men in my department routinely supervise topics on which they allegedly do research but on which even after many years they have zero publications to their name).

I would be absolutely infuriated by this. How stupid are they? They are making themselves look so foolish. I think I'd be recommending they saw a doctor, saying I was really worried about them. I suppose you can't do that if someone is senior to you!

I personally don't say anything but just look at them for a few seconds as if I can't believe they just said that. And then I carry on as tho they haven't spoken at all. Possibly eyebrows slightly raised

twerps

Hi, OP -

I remember one of your posts upon assuming your HoD role (I think I remember you specifically because we have some common problems and because apricots are a favourite food)

I am extremely glad your LM has witnessed some of this and I hope that has helped to remove any doubts you may have had about the situation.

I think some manner of demonstrating professionalism and appropriate disdain for ignorance and time wasting is best. Pithy sarcasm, yes; anything verbose that could be interpreted as a sign of weakness, no.

Remind them of your relevant publications, by all means, but in an exquisitely detached manner. In your last example, the links to your publications and indeed the identity of the relevant researcher in your Department or School may have been overkill for the first round of communication. I have learnt the hard way that replying ‘Actually Thaddeus, we have someone with two excellent publications on [topic]’ and letting Thaddeus join the dots is more effective.

I strongly recommend @Eddielizzard ’s raised eyebrows. Practise in front of a mirror if necessary.

The short version: yes, you must fight back but even more importantly, you must take control. Looking or sounding defensive will backfire.

These guys can be hell. Very best wishes

Oh yes @poetryandwine I do remember your previous posts. What you say makes a lot of sense. I am also aware of not coming across defensive and insecure (the latter I am, increasingly! I am for example increasingly conscious of my foreign accent, which wasn't a problem to me in my first years in the UK).
I would love to have the cool, detached, slightly sarcastic persona that many of you point towards here, but this will require some work... if I manage to pull it out it will be worth it, though! 😈

I am also foreign, OP, and also find this persona difficult. I find ‘detached’ somewhat easier than ‘sarcastic’. The good news is that when I can do it, it works. Sadly I have found that public corrections are much more effective than private ones. This is another reason to be minimalist.

Are you regretting taking the HoD role? Is anything good coming of it?

Call them out on it, every single time!
they explain something hi just said, put on your best teacher's voice “thanks for summarising what I just explained, I’m glad you understood it so well”
they explain a subject you’re an expert “I’m glad you find this interesting, have you read my books? I would love to discuss this further once you do”
they explain you a very obvious simple concept “I’m glad you explained this, I wrongly assumed we would all be familiar with this already”
I find if you directly antagonise they will get defensive, you’re just killing with kindness this way

Thanks @poetryandwine . The first year as HoD was not too bad. But this second one is being more stressful, my marriage is starting to suffer with the stress and pressure, and I have come to the realization as well that there are dynamics and ways of thinking that are too entrenched and won't go away until the above-mentioned cohort of men retire, which won't happen for another 10-15 years. I can only aspire to make things slightly better and more sustainable in some respects, and that's what I am focusing on (and learning how to deal with the mansplaining is an important part of it). Before becoming HoD I was toying with the idea of going part time (0.5 or 0.4FTE) and largely disengaging. So far being HoD has confirmed me in this decision - now I can say to myself, ok, it's not as if I didn't fight, I did, but wasn't successful in the end.

Very annoying. I think non verbal cues are your friends here. The eye roll. The quizzical eyebrow furrow as someone explains something everyone already understands. The "are you simple?" looking from colleague to colleague as you faux try to figure out if it's really true that this person is actually bothering to go through this basic explanation in the middle of a meeting.

Follow this up with things that impact them directly. At the end of the meeting say "so everyone, unfortunately we didn't get very far as I wasn't expecting quite so much time to be taken up with explanations of the obvious" or something along those lines, and schedule another meeting. In the agenda reiterate in bold that we need to skip the preliminaries in order to make progress as we unfortunately didn't manage last time.

If they are going to waste your time with this, waste theirs.

Sorry to hear this, OP.

Did the responses we gave as you were considering the job add to the pressure to take it? Not the intended result, obviously, and if it is true I am very sorry.

Ugh. Do the aforesaid senior men do any useful admin/leadership work? Can you make a consultative group or something where their valueless points can be made and they feel influential (but aren't) or else allocate them time consuming admin roles?