I'm done

[failedunbetter]

I feel like I'm one bit of bad news or corporate bullshit away from screaming I RESIGN in a stupid pointless meeting where we are all meant to pretend everything is wonderful, because there is no capacity to cope with criticism.

Too many students are failing despite careful teaching and easy assessments. They are just so unhappy. That part of the job made things bearable before the pandemic.

I struggle with the constant marketing and the fact we can never say that something isn't really working or pointless or whatever. Stuff cascades down - there is no way to say that it could be done more efficiently, or that certain things are pointless.

I don't know whether this is my reasonable brain or whether I'm just going off on one. How do you know when you're truly done.

Solidarity, OP. I honestly feel the same as you on so many days. Academia is this weird mixture of outward-facing "niceness" and pathological avoidance of conflict, and extreme toxicity.

Hi

I got you, I really do. I felt the same way.

I moved institution and things are a lot better. It's a very different place to where I was before.

Have you only ever worked in one place, or similar places?

I sympathise. Luckily I’m old and have decided to retire in September because the urge to shout “I don’t care about this nonsense “ and “any fool can see this will never work” in meetings was becoming irresistible. I’m already sleeping better.

This helps, I appreciate it. I know an incoherent rant is unproductive. I couldn't work out what was a problem for me, the replies have clarified things.

I will think about what it is that isn't quite working and what is possible to ask for that would help.

Yes I have worked in different places, and it's better in multiple regards. So I thought - maybe I'm the problem, if I'm feeling like this. Because everybody is lovely.

Of course, part of it is structural. Fees are too low so there isn't enough money. Students are angry about strikes, they seem unhappy about their lives and the cost of living crisis is tough on them. They feel more resentful than ever before. But it's tough for us too. Tired of working this hard for less pay.

This is what's happening at our place. I feel like everyone is done. There's no sense of community because we're all stretched so thinly and our goodwill has been used up in place of hiring enough people to do all the work. I've got no idea how widespread this feeling is - only ever known this institution in the UK.

I feel it's worse at the larger universities.

This is what I struggle with most - the total lack of community. I didn't expect this job to be so <<lonely>>. Especially this time of year when I have very little UG teaching. I have no interaction with colleagues unless we happen to pass on the stairs or waiting for the kettle. Everyone is just running from one thing to another or hiding to get some uninterrupted time.

Morale is so low at my place. We are so overstretched. SMT hates us in the humanities. Students are miserable. All seems pointless. And the cut backs. Brighton announced 100 job losses the other day. It is no picnic this sector at the moment, at least not in a medium sized research and teaching university with some deficit.

I know how you feel, OP. It's apparent that others are feeling the same.
Like you, over this last year I have questioned myself and have I just become intolerant? It seems like the student numbers grow but the students are coming with really complex issues (physical & mental health issues plus complex social issues) and this affects their ability to engage and pass assessments. Instead of the SLT acknowledging this, we are being questioned about why students aren't passing & why are attrition rates so high.
Staff are feeling really burnt out & that leads to a disconnect within the team.
I feel this is only going to get worse with each new cohort and I'm dreading September. It's made me really question if I can continue in the job. I cannot see myself doing another 10 years, to take me up to 60, but what do I do for these last 10 years of work? This year has been the hardest for so many reasons.

I just posted above. Should have read this first! I share your pain.

I'm glad I'm not alone! Thank you fellow unbelievers.

Branding is becoming more important and we can't make fun of our brands. There isn't strong team spirit in HE so personal relationships matter more than they would ideally - so you can't just do your job, you have to believe.

It's difficult if you're also being told we train students to be critical thinkers and when we're sold as being intelligent/expert/deep thinkers. But you can't turn your (usually only reasonably good) brain to criticising 'engaging with' the bullshit.

It's not for me, but I'm not bad enough at it to justify quitting. There isn't much else available. Though on days when my patience is very low, my lack of belief is more obvious, and I'd rather not have to count down the 8395 days until the tiny pension kicks in.