I don't think I have ever felt so demoralised

[purplepandas]

I am so done already. PGT teaching so we finish and then start again, no gap. So short staffed and then someone else off sick too, laughably low staffing levels. All falling to me to sort and now have extra teaching with little prep, more students and lots more diss marking. I am so angry at this situation, I had repeatedly said about timing of appointments but no one listened.

Now cancelling all the fun bits of my job and I am so resentful as it is just not fun. I am trying to hang in there as I know we have people coming in to help in a few months (more work initially for me but will pay off) but it's so hard. Stuck with a bought out research project that brings me no joy but I have to do it. I want to do the things that bring me joy but I have no space for that at the moment. Yet I hear other people in the dept are behaing so badly that things are being taken away from them. I can't bring myself to do that although it pays off clearly.

I used to love my job but right now I just resent it so very much.

I totally get that feeling and it's becoming increasingly common across the sector. Never ending increases in student numbers and their expectations in receiving value for their investment together with an ever decreasing staff base.

I used to consider myself blessed to have a career that I really loved and even gave me some joy. I'm afraid that the pressures and ridiculous expectations have just drained all that away. You're right that less than collegiate behaviour from some academic staff is tolerated and rarely addressed or managed - so those with any conscience pick up their slack as well.

I'm trying hard to work as hard as I can but only within contracted hours and then try to find value and validation outside of my career. I don't feel valued or cared for by my employer.

Thanks @damekindness , really sorry to hear that you are in a similar boat. You are so right re the increase of pressures and expectations. I really hope the working in contracted hours helps. I totally hear you on not feeling valued. I tried talking to my hod, beyond pointless, totally clueless. The uni more broadly does not care either. It never used to be like this.

In support staff & our numbers are so depleted, we can’t facilitate things for our academics the way we want to. I’m not surprised you’re feeling this way. I’ve just sent out some schedules for some teaching staff, I can see it’s rubbish for them but can’t do anything about it. If I tried revising it I’d run out of time to finalise and send things out for our incoming students.

Thanks @bravegirltalking , I have to say that I don't know where we would be without our support staff. They are all amazing so a thanks from me. I am so lucky to have an amazing support staff member who is linked to our course. Always been fab but stepped up even more to help with ridiculous staffing situation. Also utterly crappily paid at our HEI anyway sadly.

Thanks for replying and solidarity.

I am so sorry to hear this @purplepandas . I am in a similar situation. I have just become head of department - a position I didn't want and which I felt would only make my life difficult for little or no reward.

You're right that less than collegiate behaviour from some academic staff is tolerated and rarely addressed or managed - so those with any conscience pick up their slack as well.

I think this is absolutely key. I am sometimes conflicted, because I know deep down that our anger should be directed to management and the system, and not to colleagues - but on a day to day basis it is difficult not to be completely baffled at how some uncollegial people are (normally those who are the most vocal about "life-work balance" and "self-care").

You're right that less than collegiate behaviour from some academic staff is tolerated and rarely addressed or managed - so those with any conscience pick up their slack as well.

But the system (and management) simply do not value the latter. One cannot expect people to continually work well beyond reasonable hours for no acknowledgement and no reward. Universities use phrases like collegiality but collegiality is not rewarded by promotions, appointments to key roles or professorial pay increments. Accordingly the number of people "quietly quitting" and pulling back on how much they do is increasing.

What was it called: Goodwill missing it something, during one if the strikes. No one is stepping up for stuff now. In our Univ it is grim and tough going. So many layoffs, so much management scare. I hold out no hope with current govt for any support and encouragement in non STEM subjects, certainly not at non RG.

I hold out no hope with current govt for any support and encouragement in non STEM subjects, certainly not at non RG.

Life is not rosy for STEM at RGs either. It's still underfunded and overworked for teaching, with continual pressures to get amounts of research funding that don't exist.

This is exactly how I feel. Lecturer for 20+ years in RG uni (social sciences). PGT director - it is relentless with no break. My academic colleague left and I have taken over his work too (in collegiate fashion). No recognition or thanks from the university.

Big realisation that yet again I have been loaded up by the University with things they don’t care about (as long as they get done). As an individual I have such little time to do the things they do care about (major grants etc). Other colleagues just push back on everything and they are the people who get promoted. I used to love my job but in the last few years the love has gone - only to be replaced by annoyance and resentment. Where do we go from here?

Universities use phrases like collegiality but collegiality is not rewarded by promotions, appointments to key roles or professorial pay increments.

At my place, "collegiality" is apparently now rewarded at promotions, but this has only led to a more perverse system. Meaning that if you are clever enough to give your collegiality acts a fancy name (e.g. calling yourself 'mental health champion' for listening to students telling you their problems, which I am sure we all do without bestowing titles upon ourselves), then it counts. If you spend years (like I did) saying yes to every extra bit of teaching or marking that comes your way when someone goes on sick leave (or when heads of subject aren't competent enough to manage sick leave efficiently) but you don't give yourself a fancy title, then sorry, that's doesn't really count.

Other colleagues just push back on everything and they are the people who get promoted. I used to love my job but in the last few years the love has gone - only to be replaced by annoyance and resentment. Where do we go from here?

I was made head of department not long ago. About three weeks ago, I realized that taking on work that is not my responsibility (because it's just easier if I do it, because colleagues are overstretched, because why not be 'kind' to students lest they need to bother with reading the course syllabus) is going to be of zero professional benefit to me, for a lot of hassle. So I simply stopped doing it. Now, I either reply with a very brief "Please contact xyz for that" (but without copying xyz in), or sometimes I don't even reply if I know the answer can be found with 10 seconds of googling. I thought I would have a lot of bad conscience, because in my department I've always been the good, kind and helpful girl, but the truth is, after the first couple of days it just became second nature.

PS here and utterly demoralised. I'm fed up of the constant pressure and criticism despite constantly working well over my hours. I've witnessed a toxic culture develop where bullying isn't addressed at all and lower grade staff are regularly talked down to. After a year of trialing hybrid working, they've decided this is now only available to senior management and we all need to be on campus.

It's absolutely time to leave but unfortunately my original career no longer exists due to government cuts.

Sorry to hear similar stories here. I can only hope things will improve through this academic year.

Hello from week 2 of the new semester, and yes, same, same. The workload has become completely unsustainable. I'm just out of a meeting on module design in the VLE, and I just...cannot. All very well meaning, all student-centred and accessible, and yes, that is very important - but where is the extra time in the workload models to account for all the signposting, and doubling, and linking, and streamlining, and CHUNKING, that is now apparently necessary to engage students? I mean, I'm not saying that we should go back to handing out a one-page syllabus on the first day, but the admin around edtech is just incredible. And pointless busy work for the most part, since we can all see that few students actually access any of it. I spent hours last week compiling clips into a 15 minute video, so that students wouldn't have to spend time searching a documentary for key moments, and when I got to class on Tuesday, 5 out of 21 had bothered to watch any of it. There has to be a balance between helping students and personal responsibility.

Also, I have had a terrible start to the semester teaching-wise - for some reason, equipment (both my own and the uni's) has decided that it hates me, so I've been floundering around with non-functioning screens and speakers and whatever else, looking like a complete scatty amateur. I always have anxiety around teaching, but I actually feel sick with dread now before classes. Every year I swear I will find a way out, but I think I have to this year. I can't stand it anymore.

I'm support staff. Expectations from academic staff ridiculously high, but completely impossible to deliver anything because all supporting departments are stretched to their limit. I'm regularly infantilised (I'm nearly fucking 40!) and spoken to like shit on a shoe as well, which makes the whole thing feel much less worth it.

However, I can do my 80%FTE, WFH and swan in and out as I see fit, so basically I'm allowing myself to be abused because it fits around my family life.

The pay is crap, but I came from the NHS where the pay is even worse if you can believe it. I've worked in public sector or Universities all my working life, so I'm thoroughly institutionalised at this stage. I don't know where to go if I was to try to make a move.

Squashpocket, I hear you - support staff where we are also stretched to limits (we recently lost two half-time posts, not replaced, and workload expected to be picked up by our remaining two FT staff - ridiculous).

The flexibility is the only thing keeping me here, as you say. I dropped all the slack over the summer and did the bare minimum while dealing with the summer childcare juggle. While it's technically hurting my own career (did next to no writing), I don't see myself staying anyway, so I just tried not to be guilty about coasting.

Am sorry to hear that @Squashpocket , support staff are the bloody unsung heroes IMO. I literally would be nowhere without my programme administrator, both she and I were both working Sunday and Monday this week, she is a legend (and I know she should not have to, not my ask I promise).

At the moment I am just so angry at so many people for not listening about workload, we are so under capacity right now in my team it is blody laughable. I literally cannot work any more hours or days (have kids too) and worked all summer as the worst PGT year we have ever had. Rah.

I have just started as head of department @Squashpocket and one of the most negative things has been to get a closer look at the crap administrators have to put up with. Clearly many students behave to administrators in entitled ways that they don't think are appropriate when interacting with an academic. And academic staff are also not great. Many who have been there for 10+ years get back to our administrator again and again to ask about really basic things that I knew within a year of starting here.

In order to do my job I have access to two email inboxes, one of which is purely for admin staff, one of which has a more academic-sounding address and is also used by academics.

The difference in the tone of emails directed at each inbox, even when notifying/asking about the same thing, is a small itch of resentment each time it happens. There’s one particularly senior academic who doesn’t know I see both. He’s so bloody rude to admin. And all arse-kisses and sweetness to the academics. I doubt anyone knows just how fake he is.

That sounds so awful @bravegirltalking . I am still trying to get my head round why some colleagues think that when a student doesn't follow the rules, receives some kind of penalty and then behaves rudely to administrators as a result, then the right course of action is to take pity of the poor student because everyone is entitled to make a mistake and everything should be on a case by base basis anyway and give said student a second opportunity, instead of reprimanding them...

Don’t remind me- we have some student misconduct situations to deal with soon 🙈the academic team are going to harass me over paperwork and the students involved are going to harass me over being reprimanded!!

Also- the more senior the academic (usually) the nicer they are. I suppose they’ve been there long enough to realise everything will work out in the end (and it helps to give sweets to the people that fix your problems for you)

Came here to post similar. So fed up. I am 58 and been in HE for 10 years. Came in to teach on a vocational degree (think health professions) but I had a ton of experience. Loved the job but the last couple of years have been horrible.

I came in to teach but have been pushed into research and I hate it, so much pressure and competitiveness. The Uni is all about numbers and metrics and the bloody NSS. So many layers of admin it’s exhausting. Don’t even mention marking…the pressure to award high marks does no one any favours!

our department never has enough staff as people leave. It’s so toxic. Useless managers with their favourites who get all the good opportunities.

I would leave but can’t afford to! I have a son at uni himself but once he’s left I will think about getting my paltry pension and taking a job. Any job! Not in a HEI. Somewhere where I am valued and not made to feel stupid, where so called managers bully staff. I have been a manager in a busy health trust and I was good at it. This lot are all stick and no carrot.

thanks for giving me space to rant. #disillusioned

@Creativecake Very similar age/type of dept here and I so know how you feel. We're haemorrhaging staff (who are so disillusioned they are returning to the NHS because the pressure is less !) struggling to recruit new staff whilst consistently expanding student numbers.

Awful isn’t it?