supervision for next year and pregnancy

[Soverymuchfruit]

I'm 9 weeks pregnant. Much prefer not to tell work early: I've had a tough time getting this far and eventual success isn't exactly assured. I'm quite old and if this one doesn't work we may give up. Don't want colleagues to know we tried, in that case.

But our dept runs a year masters program, and now is the time that supervision the thesis next year is getting arranged. I don't want to muck these students around. I know it's only 3 weeks but in three weeks the dust will have settled. Colleagues will also be justifiably annoyed if I say yes now and switch to no in 3 weeks.

Anyone been there?

Do you have some one you can talk to in confidence about it at work?

Honestly, I would probably not tell them until 12 weeks. Yes, they might be annoyed but they legally can't do anything about it. Plus, if it is only three weeks it won't mess any students around to much as they (I assume) don't start until September so you currently would just be a name on a piece of paper (sorry if that's not how it works - never done a masters)

Good luck with it all

Thanks.

A nice student emailed me today, but the real problem is the group meeting is next week. That's when we'll finalise the match so that everyone has a reasonably fair load and students get a supervisor who matches their interests. I say yes then, and change to no two weeks later, then either people will end up with too much work or "my" students (like this nice one who emailed me) will end up with a poor match.

For the sake of my digging my heels in about what will be 2 weeks secrecy by that point.

I can quite understand my colleagues being very annoyed if it do this.

I should probably tell someone, yes.

Oh I see that makes more sense. Then yes I think you'll probably want to tell them.

But, assuming they will employ someone to cover your mat leave, could you start the students off then hand them over when you go off on Mat leave?

I'm in academia. I would simply go on as normal, and wait until you feel comfortable to share your news (congratulations by the way!).

It's more than likely this will end up ok, students will get supervision somehow and it will be good enough. Colleagues and possibly a temporary cover will cope with spreading out your work. HR are well used to dealing with this! University life, like any work environment, isn't perfect, but students are resilient and in a few years this will all be forgotten!

Enjoy this time!

ps you may not want to share at 12 weeks. I didn't until 16 weeks, for various reasons.

Unfortunately maternity cover will only be for undergraduate teaching. Graduate teaching, my group will just have to take the slack. The sort of person who can supervise a masters thesis is not the sort of person who takes a maternity cover job. Yeah, these details mean we don't map well to the rest of the labour market. I think I just need to accept that.

@Livingmagicallyagain thanks, that makes sense. Actually you're right about 12 vs 16 weeks. Sigh.

Focus on today, and do today well. "Wait to worry".

Focus on you, your pregnancy and doing your work well. Then you'll be doing the best you can, you'll hand over your work in the best state possible and you'll have more mental energy to focus on your big life change!

Do you have to supervise master students, or is it optional? If the latter, find some excuse or dat the very least say you can't confirm at the moment due to workload, deadlines etc if you have to say yes, maybe choose topics which may fit in with another supervisor s expertise so you can handover easily?

But if you say no now, the same group of supervisors will have to have more students each right? The students have to be parcelled out. So now or in 6 weeks or so probably doesn’t make that much difference.

This is the sort of thing that never ends up being that bad - it’s not like finding cover for 20 lectures and a practical.

Good luck and take as long as you want to tell them!

Find one reliable discreet senior colleague/head of department and explain you need to be excused supervisions because your precious older primigravida pregnancy trumps everything else. Then the very discreet person reassigns the supervisions to other people and all they get told is , ""Fruit is taking a little break/step back because of some private stuff she's dealing with. " If they kindly enquire you just say " it's private, just something going on at home".

Congrats on baby

say nothing to work right now. take on the students (maybe less than normal if you can). Then they will have to be reallocated later, but that is just something that can be managed.

Thanks all. Had a chat with head off group, without actually revealing the issue (she can probably guess but she seemed not to). We also had a better idea for the student who emailed me.

Think I'm going to stick with not otherwise saying until I have to. You're all right, they'll just have to cope and redistribute tasks. And a few weeks won't make much difference to that.

I see you've resolved this (and FWIW I have been in this situation and was very glad I didn't mention it, as it happened). But ... I've supervised Masters theses and have never had a permanent job; please don't be dismissive of us temps, we're not knuckle-dragging idiots.

Now I shall stop being such a grouch and wish you well with the rest of your pregnancy!

I'm an academic and we hire temps in every year to supervise Masters students. It absolutely is possible. It's also one of the better paid and more interesting tasks. Congratulations on your pregnancy OP

Sorry, that was an unnecessarily general and dismissive thing to say. I know for a fact that in my case a temp who supervises master's theses will not be hired, but I agree they exist.

Glad you have sorted it / come to a decision on how you want to go forward. All levels of education it is a pain in the arse when you know you are going off on maternity leave and feel like you are letting colleagues/ students down but they always get by fine.