PhD regret and the final hurdle(s)

[NamechangePhD]

Looking for any advice/support really.

Tl;dr - do I quit my funding and finish PhD part time while (hopefully) working to put future career prospects first? Or stick it out as a full time funded student until next spring to get it finished ASAP?

I'm getting towards the end of my PhD (humanities) but really losing the will to keep going. I have been lucky to be funded but after a lot of self-reflection I really have no plans to stay in academia afterwards as the job market is just dismal in my area even for "successful" ECRs. Realising that the best outcome post-PhD in academia was just another short term contract (and therefore another 3 years sans mortgage/stability) has really demotivated me about the whole system I've become entangled in and I'm now questioning why I left a permanent professional job to put time into all this in the first place. Taking up the PhD position meant moving away from family and has been a huge personal sacrifice, but the funding package was good and is what encouraged me to go ahead with it.

If I could get a move on and power through to hand in something passable then I'd be free of it all soon. But I'm so full of anxiety/regret about the whole thing that I'm finding it difficult to concentrate on what needs to be done to get it finished. I'm also worried about future job prospects in a non-ac COVID/post-COVID environment, which compounds the regret I feel about embarking on this degree at all.

It's too late to quit, I can sort of see the finish line but there is still a fair way to and I feel I don't have the energy to get there. What I want is a decent enough permanent job with regular hours and time with my family, but I'm trapped in this project that I've invested so much of myself in.

My options now are a) to keep going, somehow(?) power ahead and get it finished while still being funded. In which case how do I motivate myself through this final slog amid continuing future income/career worries?

Or b) to give up the funding, get my foot back in the door with resuming my non-ac career, finding long-term financial stability sooner rather than later in order to get on with life, while finishing the PhD on the side.

I haven't done a PhD but I've got several friends who have and it seems a pretty common theme among them that the final push is really hard so I don't think what you are experiencing is unusual. I think you'd massively regret not finishing it with funding. It's a massive achievement.

Can you break down what still needs to be done into discrete tasks and put a timeframe around each one? It's much easier to achieve smaller interim goals and you will be able to track the progress you are making. Get it done asap and be proud of yourself!!

I’d finish the PhD. Jobs are hard to come by at the moment. You could get it finished while jobs are scarce and be ready to focus on a (hopefully improved) job market next year with nothing to distract you. I guarantee if you get a job now you’ll never finish the PhD. By all means quit and work if you want, but don’t kid yourself that you’ll still finish the PhD.

I would finish it.
Maybe have a week break from it but then, as someone else suggested, try to make of timetable for completing different tasks for it.

I must say as pp, no PhD myself, but Seen plenty of friends Through it.
Is your supervisor any good?
If so, I would have a sit Down with them, make a plan/ to do list, and as part of that, plan in a proper week off. Have your list done & dusted before you go, so it’s not hanging over you and properly step away for a week at least.
Then you will come back refreshed with a plan already in place.
Try to power ahead, but plan in a further week off at some point in the not too distant.

I would recommend getting right away for that week, don’t use it to do household jobs, get out, get active, chat with people (in a socially distant way!!) about things other than your subject, but talking about that too can help you remember why you started.
A part time PhD will become a millstone round your neck.

Sorry for random capitals.

I’ve got a PhD but not in the humanities. I agree with other posters though that your thoughts and feelings are pretty standard for being towards the end of a doctorate. How much longer do you have funding for, and is it feasible to finish your thesis in that time? If you are at all able to then I would try to power through. I left academia straight after completing and don’t regret doing so at all, in case you needed validation for not staying there.

I would start looking for jobs now to see what's out there. Getting a job can take a while and involve quite a lot of waiting around for people to get back to you - it's time consuming, but definitely not a full time job iykwim. During those down periods you can be working on your PhD

I have a (non-humanities) PhD and that final push is so so hard, but I wouldn’t give up now. I had a career change after my PhD and it’s stood me in great stead even though it was of no relevance to my current career. People like that it shows you are capable of working on big projects, capable of writing, thinking etc. Good luck!

The best piece of advice my PhD supervisor gave me was that you don't necessarily have to be particularly brilliant to get a PhD, the most important qualities are tenacity and bloody-mindedness! I agree with the pp - just knuckle down for the final push and get it over with. I think going part-time at this stage would mean you would be even less motivated than you are now, and may end up dropping out altogether. The last part of the PhD is the hardest and your feelings are completely normal for this stage. Don't drag it out for longer than you need to, and good luck!

I agree with PPs... you need to push through. Don't underestimate how we have all responded to Covid and lockdown which might in part explain your change of heart/wanting to be with the family etc. It really isn't long until the spring and we may be in a very different economic position then, a different career might beckon (which your PHD might help with)... and at least you have the time until then to research etc.

Could you get a coach to help you through these last months?

PhD here also, still work in academia but in management as left the bench work after a while to progress in university management

It is difficult they last bit, draining, emotional, am I good enough for this etc.

The answer, I found for me, was get my head down, get it done, and it will help in your working life no matter what you chose to do. It will give you some confidence back also

They're not that hard, as others have said above. Get your story, write it up and defend it, then move on

Good luck! Power through the emotional side

I also think you should stick it out. Nothing wrong with the plan B, per se, but it’s not a good market for jobs. When you have your PhD that might distinguish you from other candidates (if you choose to use it), but until you have it you can’t really claim it (and as a recruiter I would not want an employee still trying to write up). You need to talk with your supervisor, find a plan together. Is your institution doing anything about funding for people disrupted by Covid?

power through to hand in something passable then I'd be free of it all soon. But I'm so full of anxiety/regret about the whole thing

This is a recognised stage of pretty much any PhD. The point at which you are reasonably comfortable entirely sick of with the original research that only you know about so that you can't believe it's still potentially new to everyone else.

Is there anyone you can talk to about how you are feeling, who can help you with the tools to get over this hump and complete the last push to complete.

Get a plan together to complete and stick to it.

Getting a job is not going to be exactly easy in the current climate. It is reasonable to consider job hunting a full time occupation, there would be a similar conflict between job hunting and your research. What would you live on? By all means start putting feelers out and have your linked in profile up to date but mostly, power through.

Finishing a PhD alongside establishing yourself in a new role and demonstrating how clever they were to give you the job would also be really, really tough.

The absolutely best advice anyone can give you is to press on and get it done. There will likely never be anything you ever do which will be so demanding in this way. It will be good to remind yourself 'I got that done' when facing tricky situations in future.

Spend a short time putting a plan together with achievable interim milestones.

Set yourself a stretching but achievable structure to your day, with a few breaks included. Get your head down and get it done.

All the very best. Remember this time because drawing on its experience will provide the best support you can provide for others in future.

Power through the fecking thing. The sooner it's done, the sooner you can stop thinking about it.

Plenty of time to regret ever starting it once you've submitted. A bit tongue-in-cheek, post post-submission anti-climax is a thing. You're just getting a head start.

I agree with the power-through message!
I know of a few people who got near the end then slowed down because they took a part (or full!) time job and thought they'd finish the PhD while working... spoiler - they never did!
I think realistically your motivation is unlikely to get any better, so you'd better get on with it and just get it over with.