anyone else thinking of doing something else after all this?

[consideringachange]

I am a relatively senior academic (reader) with a strong research profile, biggish name in a small field blah de blah but this whole situation is really making me reconsider my career choices, both for positive reasons (actually really enjoying spending more time with the children; would love to have another child which isn't really compatible with FT job; would love to do more kinds of writing, which is the main thing I enjoy) and negative ones (HE in the UK has seemed so depressing recently anyway, and I just can't bear the thought of online teaching -- I have a problem with headaches anyway and Zoom etc all seem to give me a dreadful headache or a full-blown migraine very quickly; I just can't imagine ever enjoying teaching that way). Anyone else feeling this way? Obviously not the time to make any decisions, but wondering if others have also felt prompted to reassess . . .

I know what you mean. I know that I can’t go back to how I used to be and how I used to work. It was making me ill and unhealthy and I couldn’t see it at the time. Having more time to think is making me evaluate the things l like about my job (writing) and the things I don’t (admin, stress, unreasonable requests). I am not sure I will change careers or anything like that but I hope I will remember how ultimately much of what we do is pretty meaningless in the grand scheme of things. Killing myself writing an article that few people will read, in order to gain the approval of a bunch of people I don’t actually like very much is not what I want to be doing.

Also, I am feeling my tolerance for bullshit plummet through the floor. I held my tongue so much regarding gender-related bollocks within my discipline that saw colleagues being bullied and disciplined for stating basic scientific facts or for stating opposition to the legalisation of sex work. I would like to think that I won’t be so silent in the future. The virus has shown that we are nothing but flesh and blood, no matter how we identify and how much we try to ‘queer’ every single bloody facet of life. I hope that in the future there will be more funding within soc sci that is dedicated to things that actually matter and make society better.

all I want to do is write and research. the online meeting scenario drives me insane. lack of support for homeworking by my university is maddening, but where else would I have such autonomy and such a good wage, relatively?

I'm also a Reader, I wouldn't say a big name but with a decent grant portfolio. Right now I think the situation makes me more likely to stay. It's difficult to see how there won't be redundancies coming (unless something magical happens with student numbers), but that will take time, and in the short term I think there's lots of potential stability for academics compared to the private sector.

In the longer term, who knows. I don't think there is any aspect of HE that wouldn't benefit from significant reform. This might be an opportunity for some of that, although track record suggests that any changes will only make workload worse. Last year I had some semi-serious conversations with companies about leaving. Overall I think we're now passed the "it's not really worth the effort" stage and well into the "it's not really sensible to stay" stage. I guess the next stage is "it's more sensible to leave that to stay".

Thanks all. I agree both about short/medium term security and about inevitable redundancies longer term. I am just finishing a book and am running a big grant project which has a while still to run so would want to see those things through anyway. No obvious sideways moves for me though. I suppose worth seeing how the land lies in another 6 months or so.

I've been flirting with the idea since the 2018 strikes. Having thought I would never want to do anything else with my life, the strikes planted a seed of disillusionment that hasn't really gone away. I also feel stuck in a rut - classic mid-career woman-with-children scenario of always being given the 'caring' or EDI admin roles, but never the ones that lead to promotion. Combined with no time and a waning enthusiasm for my research/ discipline.

But, like @WarmCinnamonZoflora I'm loathed to give up the autonomy and relatively decent wage. I've applied for a few non-academic roles recently and got v. close to getting one but in hindsight I'm glad I didn't as I don't think I would have enjoyed it. Anyway, I expect the decision will end up being made for me because I'd be absolutely amazed if this situation didn't result in enormous cuts/ job losses in my institution/ the sector more widely. Jobs in my field are like hens' teeth, so if I lose my post I'll inevitably have to leave academia.

I think about this a bit, mainly because I'm on a fixed term contract so I feel like I could always be let go of.
I came to academia later in life (although I'm a teaching fellow, so it's only sort of academic... Maybe? I'm still trying to get the lay of the land), and relative to other jobs I've had teaching fellow is a pretty good gig. It's really nice to have the whole summer to think about my subjects, read and learn new stuff. I've never had another job where thinking and reading were legitimate aspects of it and I love that. I also really do like the students. Also my colleagues are really interesting! There are other jobs/ sectors I could go into, but I think on balance this is the best option. My only gripe is about workload, I'm paid 0.5 but I work loads more hours than that.
I'm with you about the zoom teaching though. Hate it.

You are definitely an academic igglepiggle! I'm feeling slightly less awful about zoom/Teams etc as my university has now provided me with a headset and a big extra monitor (only have a small laptop at home) and apparently may also be sending an extra keyboard and a proper office chair. Quite impressed, and it does make a difference. Still loathe the online meetings and dread the thought of doing lots of teaching that way but it's def a bit of an improvement and on the up-side the meetings are all going much faster than usual. Presumably because everyone hates it so much that they just agree with everything! Lots of things sensibly being sorted out in advance by email too to keep the actual meeting brief.

Maybe on reflection I'd just like to go part-time. I've always resisted that because you see so many women do it and it always seems to mean f/t teaching and no real reduction in admin, just a loss of research, no chance of a serious/important admin job and slower promotion. But at the moment I'd say I am, by force of necessity (small children at home), working between 1/2 and 2/3 of the hours I would usually work and if I set aside the stress of feeling like I "should" be doing more, I actually quite like this level of engagement.

Next academic year looks to be shaping up to be a total nightmare though. Even if they re-open schools, I don't see how the children are going to be able to attend usual hours for ages, because they just can't have the full cohort there and achieve anything like social distancing.

Weirdly, this whole situation has given me back a bit of the spark that was missing in my job.

I was searching for something outside of academia post-Christmas - and was actually shortlisted for something just before lockdown, but decided not to pursue it once the madness hit and am glad I didn't.

Maybe I just needed a bit of a kick up the backside - I really felt as if I was going miserably through the motions previously and the last two months have been nothing if not...stimulating! I'm rather enjoying the online teaching, the students have actually been lovely, and everyone's finally realising that we don't need the number of 'emergency COVID-19' meetings now that we did 4 weeks ago.

The marking is insane of course and god only knows what chaos will be visited on us in September but for the time being I'm trying to embrace the challenges and use the opportunity to develop my teaching practice re: online stuff.

However, I have self-sufficient teenagers at home and since I'm a senior teaching fellow I don't have the same level of research stress on top of everything else. Plus my field is directly related to the C-19 effort so hopefully won't be too badly affected in terms of job losses etc fingers crossed So I acknowledge I may be better off than some, at least for the immediate future. Not counting too many chickens though...

This situation has made me think about what else I might be able to do. I'm just back from a long period of maternity leave, research is in the doldrums, imposter syndrome is at its highest and I'm even more on the back foot than I've ever been. With kids now at hike for who knows how long I despair of clawing myself back. But other than teaching I can't see what else my skills are really suited for that might keep me at the same level of income. I feel kind of hemmed in by academia, which would be ok if it felt stable. Worrying times.

On another note, I agree with @Pota2 about the levelling effect of the virus and I hope it does have a positive impact on academia culture. We've been in a weird place for a while.

Home, not hike

And 'academic culture', not academia - it's already been a long day

I have been thinking how lucky I am to have this type of job in the pandemic! Working from home is fab and I always did a lot of it and only came in for teaching. I don't mind online teaching, Zoom/Teams is tiring, but hopefully there will be a mix of activities. Online exams and marking is quite straightforward, I prefer it to deciphering handwriting. Grant-wise, I am getting writing- I do feel bad people's jobs are going/being frozen, so am trying to address that.

I think I feel better though as I don't have small children, the people who have to juggle smaller ones and working are finding it so much worse, in fact, almost unmanageable. If you don't have childcare, it's not great at all.

A secure job (even with the threat of redundancies) you can do from home in a pandemic seems a good deal to me. I am not tempted to set foot in the job market at the moment, and the jobs I was looking at a few years ago were already being cut by councils/government before the pandemic so will be even worse afterwards, ditto private sector.

@Nearlyalmost50 totally agree! My anxieties are all linked to possible redundancies

Completely understand where you are coming from. I have been considering retraining with an apprenticeship. Worked years in business admin and fancy a change. There are a lot of options. Here are some good sites which I have come across:

www.gov.uk/apply-apprenticeship
careermap.co.uk/
www.open.ac.uk/courses/
www.coursesonline.co.uk/

My husband has decided to express an interest in voluntary redundancy scheme that has just opened. He may not take it, but i think he has had enough.

in the voluntary

Ours has just opened as well. They’re also offering extended career breaks. I wish I was in a financial position to take that up, but I also suspect I wouldn’t be allowed as I’ve been factored in for a large teaching load next year.

I don't think my husband will be allowed either as he has the same "problem". His modules are always very popular. The least popular optional modules are going to be axed and that will mean more pressure on him.

I’m going to stick with it. I’m actually enjoying delivering the live, online Lectures. I was really worried about it but it’s working well.

Apart from when the postman comes and the dog goes nuts, or dh comes into the kitchen diner and starts boiling the kettle and thinks I’m unreasonable for shrieking at him that I’m doing a live lecture and he can’t have a cup of tea!

I think the students are becoming a bit more resilient/less needy because they can’t come and knock on my office door when they feel like it!

For quite a few of my sessions I’m also making the students do the leg work in a way I’m not sure I could have done for a face to face lecture. So set them a task and they all have to come back with some work by the end of the week and I will put their work together so they can all see each other’s stuff. With a bit of an intro and summing up from me.

The students are really liking it and say they feel the teaching has got more interactive since we went online.