Reviewer's irony

[Booboostwo]

This is not a dilemma, I know what I will do, I just need to winge about it.

I received an email asking me to review a paper for a journal. I get about one a month of these and have done billions in the past (conservative estimate). The topic was within my expertise, the abstract seemed sensible, so I accepted.

I read the paper and, for the first time ever (in the history of mankind), this paper engages with my work. Not just a throwaway reference, they actually call passages of my work 'wonderful', the author thinks I got things right, it's a bloody miracle.

The ironic bit: the paper is not that good, so I have to reject it and it will never see the light of day. Can I cry now?

Yes

Oh, that’s too bad. Not even an R&R?

Surely you can R&R it?!

Sadly, no. I have recommended reject.

Been there OP. It's awful isn't it. Makes me paranoid that my work is only loved by the deeply inadequate

So this thread has a happy ending. I wrote a number of substantial recommendations thinking that the editor would simply reject the paper (my discipline is overwhelmed with submissions, so substantial corrections are usually rejected). But the editor surprised me by asking the author to R&R and then the author surprised me even more by carrying out the changes. So the final version is greatly improved and I recommended it be published. Hopefully some good news for this author.

Unrelated, but I have two papers awaiting review at the moment and in the middle of the lockdown I don't think I can cope with more rejections. I dread checking my email each day!