The fear

[Tellmewhatyouknow]

I found out two weeks ago that I have been accepted to study for a fully funded PhD.

It has been my ambition for such a long time but now I have the worst case of imposters syndrome.

Even worse, 'the fear' is now preventing me from working on my current MSc dissertation.

My MSc dissertation supervisor will also be my PhD supervisor. Part of my concern is that I don't want to submit anything to her that is going to make her question my capabilities to do a PhD. This is a totally irrational fear because she has marked a previous assignment (where I achieved 78%) and was the one who encouraged me to apply for funding when I discussed my proposal to her.

I need some sense drummed into me quickly as I have looming deadlines. Plus, I am yet to accept my funding offer because I'm too frightened to make the commitment. All that I have heard/read about PhDs lately is how isolating and stressful they are and about the strain they put on a marriage.

Help!

Because I'm a total cowbag...

What makes you so special that only you can seem highly competent to so many but secretly be hopeless? How come so many truly somewhat hopeless people can manage to complete a PhD except you?

Don't be daft. You can do this.

Who is telling you PhDs are isolating etc?
That's a little weird.
I suppose it depends a lot on the field but I had a wonderful time doing mine. Yes it was stressful. at times and hard work but I met many great peers and made a lot of good contacts.
I also had a baby whilst I was writing up and managed the viva when said baby was 9 months old so I don't think it harmed my relationship!
You can totally do it. You are using the stress to procrastinate. Meet your deadlines, you know what to do..good luck!!

Thanks both

I also enjoyed my PhD and it's been a pathway to a good career for me.

As everyone is saying, this is just procrastination. I've found various ways to overcome the writing 'fear' over the years, from doing just one small amount a day, to writing a draft which is 'rubbish' but doing it anyway (which then turns out ok) and bribing myself. The option not to do it is a self-indulgent one. I follow some of the FB and Twitter profs like 'The Professor is In' and Tara Brabazon, I don't agree with everything they say, but they have some great tips on overcoming procrastination and making doing your research/writing into an achievable goal rather than getting stuck in impossible mind-twists like you are doing now.

Fully funded PhD studentships do not grow on trees. You have been "rated" by someone whose opinion is in turn rated by the funding awarding body.

This means that you are good enough to do it, and in no sense should you consider yourself an imposter.

Go ahead, accept the offer, and thoroughly enjoy the experience!

(PS I'm a retired academic, with several successful past PhD students of my own.)

Or think about it this way (another cowbag approach). By doubting yourself you are really dissing the professional judge tans experience of your current and future supervisors. Fully funded studentships art hard to get.

We don’t give them to incompetents just because we feel sorry for them and want to be nice

I can completely understand your imposter syndrome. I'm a year into my PhD and it took a while for me to accept I'd been given such a wonderful opportunity (along with the academic position that came with it) because I was good enough.

Imposter syndrome sucks though so surround yourself with positive people.

It also doesn't have to be isolating or have an impact on your marriage. My DH is in the final year of his and while he's been doing it we've managed to get married and have a baby!

Good luck!

It's great to hear positive stories about people enjoying the PhD.

I've accepted the offer and starting to feel excited.

The procrastination is still an issue at the moment but I'm trying to do a small amount at a time with the hope of getting back into the grove.

"We don’t give them to incompetents just because we feel sorry for them and want to be nice." Definitely not!

I enjoyed my PhD. My current PhD student also seems to be enjoying himself a lot.

(I'm not going to tell you what happened to one of my previous PhD student. )

Only joking. She got her PhD.

And didn't look visibly scarred.

(Cow-bag approach part III)

Oh for pity's sake just get on with it girl!

Otherwise the world will forever be populated with Dr Arrogants