How to bring up ttc plans with PhD supervisor?

[SarahH12]

I've been advised to speak to my supervisor prior to starting to ttc to try and sound him out and see what his view on things are. How do I bring it up? When I was in a full time job I always knew that when we started ttc I wouldn't tell anyone until we'd actually conceived and had the 12 week scan. But now I'm doing a PhD it seems most people advise to consult supervisor first. Anybody else been in this situation or have any advice on how to bring it up?

I agree with murmuration that the response regarding testing the water regarding maternity leave by speaking to the prospective supervisor etc was more if you hadn't yet decided whether to ttc or wait and wanted to gauge how maternity leave during a PhD was perceived by those you'll be working with. If you've already decided to go ahead then there's no point telling anyone.

I meant some grants come with a time limit, so have to wind down 1st June 2020 no matter how much was used.

I doubt you would get SMP if you've been on a studentship - you don't pay tax/NI on a stipend, so you don't meet the thresholds for SMP unless you have an additional job. And as a previous poster said, some grants have a set end point no matter what.

FWIW - academic scientist here and there is no way I would attempt ttc whilst PhDing - lab hours alone means childcare would be a nightmare.

I told my supervisor at 13 weeks I was expecting twins. Definitely don't mention the ttcing.

Oh I get you paxillin I don't think that's the case here.

allegretto congratulations on the twins! How far along are you now in your PhD? If you've finished how did it work out for you?

Thanks! I've finished now - it was hard and I ended up taking the maximum amount of time possible but worth it in the end!

I had 3 DC while doing my PhD. Didn't consult my supervisor about trying for any of them! He was business-like and pleasant about each maternity leave (though he did momentarily drop his head in his hands when I announced the 3rd pregnancy). I did complete by the way!

I am bypassing much discussion, and aware it's been said, but this is a stupid piece of advice for anyone not dealing with substances/practices hazardous to health of an early pregnancy.

I had four miscarriages during my PhD and I am deeply thankful I never told my supervisors. It would have taken away the place in my life where I felt entirely in control and able to be 'me' without constantly feeling wobbly and wretched. God forbid you should miscarry, but the point is that you should have the privacy to TTC without anyone else's overseeing eye.

Another one saying no need to tell supervisor. Just if you work with specific equipment or have certain testing needs think about how you'd manage that. I couldn't have run experiments with MRIs while TTC and pregnant so chose a different technology to do imaging in my PhD.

And I'm funded by a different RC but typical rules allow for full maternity leave period (part of it is paid) and return to work part time extends your time to complete as appropriate. Money remains same just paid out over longer.

You do not legally have to declare your pregnancy until 15 weeks before the due date in the UK. (In other countries it is much later.) Don't declare at 12 weeks if you don't want to.

Your supervisor is very unlikely to know the university/EPSRC rules for maternity leave and paying maternity pay, unless they have had a pregnant student recently or have been involved in university committees discussing this.

Following the expansion of Athena SWAN, it is increasingly common that PhD students are paid maternity pay, regardless of their source of funding. Check the rules at your university directly with your Student Union, Graduate School etc.

Just reiterating what everyone else has said:

talk to your prospective supervisor and other students in the lab and judge the level of support you're likely to get.

That advice is just fucking weird. And borderline illegal.

Like @GameOldBirdz I don't really want to know about my PhD students' personal lives very much. Certainly, no need to tell me about TTC. Once pregnant & telling people (after 12 weeks usually), well yes, tell me then - I will congratulate you heartily! And then open up a conversation about scheduling & ML and so on - just seeing what you're thinking or anticipating, and offering advice.

But don't tell me you're TTC - that's a bit TMI.

I think you should just send an email that says:

"FYI, I'm having unprotected sex"