I met my husband who is an academic 4 years ago in the midlands when he was doing his PhD. I had my own business and was doing well. I'm from the midlands and live close to all my family and friends. He got a job 2 hours north at a prestigous university. For 2 years he commutes back and forth at weekends. He then proposed. I made the decision to close down my business, rent out my house and move to the city where he now has a 3 year contract at the university. I completely understand the life of an academic can be unpredictable and often they have to move where the work is until they get a lectureship position. We have good communication and we have always said our goal is to move back to the midlands where my family is especially as we are now trying for a baby. Dh has just been to a conference where he was strongly encouraged to apply for fellowship at a Scottish university. It potentially is a very good opportunity, I know there fellowships are hard to come by. I am also not averse to moving to another city for his career...technically I can work anywhere. BUT I don't want to move to Scotland. It's several hours from my family. We dont know anyone in this city. The position of he got it would mean he would have to stay there for 5-10 years. If it was just a couple of years i could cope I think. But my parents are in their 70s now. I want to be close by. I miss my friends as it is. Dh doesnt want to move if i dont want to. Hes very kind and thoughtful and I know he wants me to be happy. But he wants to apply for this position just to test the application process and to get experience. My worry is that if he passes each stage it will get to a point where I may be bad bad a corner because he will have a great job pop that may not come again. He has said he will give it 2 years to get into academia as his contract has 2 years left, he has already far a few attempts. I feel really selfish for saying I don't want to move to Scotland. Not going for this job could be detrimental to his career and I really want him to suceed as it is very competitive. What does everyone think?
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