purple, um, something like 9? We're about to give up after #3 on a review paper, and I'm feeling like its a bit early, but I'm only a very small part of it, so barely put any effort in. If I'd written a lot more, I'd feel pretty annoyed at giving up so soon.
gauche - just 7 letters? yeah, that's small. It'll be fine.
And, my news... I FINALLY GOT FUNDING!!!! After slightly over 8-years with no luck, a proposal that I was co-I on got funded. Okay, so I'm only on it at 2% and form a small part of it, but at least I'm now counted as active on an actual funded project. It gives me hope that things might turn around, and other ones I'm waiting on or will soon submit might actually have a chance.
And, if anyone remembers me soul-searching about trying to move into an admin position last year, finally deciding to for it, and eventually not getting it, I'm doing the same thing again - this time for a bigger role. Except a lot less soul-searching. Like maybe a day instead of weeks. And this was even before I got the news about the funding. Although having gone through the investigation process before, I now know that I can shed departmental responsibilities and as it's a bigger role, I will be able to shed a lot of departmental admin and maybe even some teaching. It's also a formal application plus interview this time, whereas last time it was just an informal note of interest. I think Athena SWAN has something to do with this - I've never seen these admin roles advertised before a year a ago, and in the intervening year the one I applied for plus a good six others have been sent out to the whole Uni. Just seeing the adverts I think somehow makes me feel more confident - like I know I'm going not to be Dean or any of those super big ones, but just the thought that they're all up for grabs from among the faculty at large makes me feel more comfortable putting myself forward for the smaller roles within my research.
Anyway, so wish me luck or something... Again, I'm in the weird situation of wanting it (otherwise I wouldn't be applying) but also scared of being successful, because it would be a step into the unknown and maybe I should just stay in my departmental bubble where it's safe. Although obviously I've made the decision to risk it - and second time round it was a bit easier to take the risk. So feeling ambiguous but hopeful. And need to work on my application...