How do you balance work, study and family?

[SongforSal]

I am having a wobble. Any practical advice will be very much appreciated!

I study with the OU, so far I have 180 UCAS points, with a further 3 modules to get my Hons Degree.

I have worked generally P/T for years, mainly due to my now 12yr old having serious health issues. He is thankfully in the clear now, and I can loosen the apron strings a little.

I have been offered a F/T job. An element of my degree will be utilised, so all good on that front! However, I am worried about balancing everything. Ideally I am planning on a Masters, OR a Phd (purely because I bloody love research, and I have already had half a dozen reasonable ideas). An old friend has already contacted me regarding my interest in a certain area of research. Am I putting to many eggs in my basket so to speak?

How do you all get the right balance? I am planning on using my commute to read Uni material, plus an hour or so in the evenings. An average TMA can take me 60hrs of research and writing. So already there's some late nights and entire weekends gone.

Am I mad? Can I do this? I'm even worrying about cooking meals! I LOVE cooking.

So far my ideas are as follows.

1. Strict study timetable.
2. Batch cooking once a week (for things like Chilli, Casserole, Lasagne ect..)
3. A family rota of chores.

Am I going to end up rocking in a corner muttering to myself?

Any tips.....Please!

I think in most Arts/Humanities subjects you'd need a masters in order to do a PhD, so it's not either/or (FWIW).

I do know people who worked full time while doing a part-time MA/PhD. I think it is very hard. I can't see how you'd manage it on an hour in the evenings plus reading during your commute.

But are you doing it because you want to be an academic? I can't honestly see how anyone doing a part-time PhD plus a full time job would manage that - because the PhD itself is only the bare minimum you'd need to get a job. You'd also be doing teaching and conferences and publishing on the side.

Sorry, that doesn't sound very hopeful, I know! But I think postgrad is so much more work than undergrad that it's difficult to make the transition even if you're unencumbered with other things.

No...That's great advice LRD!

My degree is Forensic Psychology. The Forensic part includes a lot of Maths, Analytics etc.. It is most definitely NOT an aspect I predicted I would enjoy. However, it turns out I really do and would like to continue. Now I am thinking of a masters in a Neuroscience or similar subject that blends both science and psychological findings. I know if it came to a Phd then that would be my 'full time job'.

At the moment the actual finishing the degree plus then applying for an MA around work is what I'm fretting about. My new job luckily offers 'flexi-time'. So I have scope to take 2hr lunch breaks, or cram my hours and have a day off mid-week. They are fully aware my studies are important, I actually 'got the vibe' that was one of the reasons for hiring me.

I'll be working 35hrs p/w. Plus 20hrs study on average.

I think LRD has a great point, which is why do you want to do all this? It would be a life sacrifice and definitely affect your quality of life for a while (and probably that of your family) which I think is fine for a period of time, or to reach a particular goal, because that's what motivates you, but you are suggesting many more years like that- and I think it's worth clarifying what you would like to happen as a result of it.

I do meet lots of people who would like to get a PhD 'for the sake of it' in that they like the idea of doing a PhD, in-depth research and so on, but it's a very hard path to treat, in fact, a paper came out only today saying that over 50% of those doing PhDs have some type of psychological distress during that time and 1/3 may have symptoms of a diagnosable disorder during that time- more than when matched against other clever, highly educated, intensive type work (can't find the link, it was on my Twitter feed). Basically- it can be a mentally difficult and stressful period, and I think you should probably only do that to yourself and your family if you need to for work reasons or have a very clear goal in mind (e.g. I would like to be an academic or social researcher).

This might not resonate at all, and you might have a very clear idea of where you are headed. I have certainly had times where I've done the work f/t, work evenings/weekends writing and struggled to maintain the home (I don't batch cook, I just don't cook and end up buying crap), for example, when writing a book. I couldn't live like that for years though, and I do have a lot of family support and a very supportive partner.

Sorry if I sound negative- and perhaps it will all unfold as you go towards it but it might be worth thinking through what it's all for, if you see what I mean!

Thanks Summer

I enjoy finding links between theories for example, and looking at ways to expand/adapt already existing enquiry. I may be wrong, but as far as I can see, to do so and make any mark I'll need a PhD to explore ideas. Of course the eventuality is my grades may not proffer me the option! I have a friend who dropped out of his PhD due to family commitments, so if I end up on that path I know it's not a walk in the park.

Work wise, my ideal would be working in an experimental research facility, although competition is high. The job I have currently accepted has long term financial benefits, unfortunately I'm one of the odd ones that has never been motivated by money. Work satisfaction is 100% a priority as long as I can afford to put food on the table as it were.

Well - and this is my rather bleak perspective today (I'll be cheery again tomorrow) - if you want to rely on being able to put food on the table, don't try to do a PhD with a view to doing research.

It's not that academia is modestly paid and you choose it because you're one of those people who places satisfaction over money. It's that academia is, increasingly, not paying a living wage during the early stages.

I'm not especially brilliant, but I have decent degrees from well-respected universities and I still have no secure source of income after finishing my PhD in 2014. This is common. Unless you can rely on someone else helping you finance things, it's very dicey. Especially if you have a child to support. Obviously, everyone hopes to be the one in a hundred who comes through the PhD without a flicker of worry, lands a lovely research job and earns steadily. But I think assuming that you'll have the luxury of preferring a nice job to money because 'all' you want is to put food on the table is, frankly, a sure-fire way to really regret your choices.

www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0048733317300422?sf71465905=1

Here's the paper I was talking about, it's not very cheerful I'm afraid! The thing is, you don't need to decide now. Definitely get your OU degree, see what the grades are like, and then think what next.

One of the issues identified in the paper is that there are now too many people with PhDs and not enough jobs for them/poorly paid/unrealistic expectations. That said, the students I know have mostly gone into research, although moving on beyond the post-doc stage to a permanent job is what is harder- I'm in social sciences, I don't know the pathways in experimental science so much, it's worth trying to talk to other people with similar quals/skill sets to the ones you are hoping to achieve.

I'm in experimental science. Roughly, about 10% of our PhD graduates end up as permanent researchers (in academia - obviously some go into pharma but I don't know those numbers). About half go into post docing but those jobs are short and you have to move a lot, so with children it is very hard.

I made it - I have a job. But I am very aware that luck and the ability to move every two years was a big part of that.

If you are interested in pharmaceutical industry, NHS clinical science, or government research, as well as pure research, your chances of success are much higher.