I'm midway through a PhD in the sciences. Lab-based but I run my own studies. I'm also almost mid-thirties mature student coming into academia after several years of work.
I used to be an alpha-type person who'd work hard / get stuff done etc. In the past year it feels like my light is slowly dimming / my energy levels are falling.
I was super thrilled about starting PhD, and had a good run until my upgrade. Now I'm struggling to find my mojo. I work from home a lot, I barely do much each day. Been months since I read a paper. I still managed to turn in a draft paper to supervisor but needs a lot of revising.
We've been TTC and it's been a struggle. Had a late loss last year and took a few months off to process it. Pregnant again now so I know I'll be going off on mat leave in 5 months.
I can't seem to find the motivation to get going on PhD. I'm not really interested in conferences or networking. Keep thinking I should just grit my teeth and get through this, and go for a non-academic job (which feels like a way of escaping). I feel a bit lonely but everyone on PhD at institute is young and single and friendly but up for movie nights and bowling and I feel old and tired. This pregnancy has also been v hard with lots of continuing morning sickness plus given loss at term haven't wanted to tell anyone I'm pregnant either.
Sorry for very long post, just feeling a bit lost. Any advice to get my vim back would be much appreciated!