Academic common room
Parenting & academia: frustrations? Highlights?
clio7788 · 08/12/2015 21:39
I have only just found this corner 
I'm just coming to the end of a study leave, which has been productive but just as I was getting some momentum to finish my current project, DS (2yo) has been a right little monster for his childminder, with the net result that I've had to have him at home with me. I think we're getting to the bottom of it, but it is almost as if he knows...
So that is a current frustration for me - I'm good enough at procrastinating when I'm supposed to be writing without someone else helping me... I have found it also a lot harder to get out to do my research or to conferences because it needs such faffing with childminders, in-laws, DH taking holiday leave etc. Highlights: well, being lucky enough to have a lot of autonomy in my working life, so that a toddler having a torrid time doesn't turn into having to sit on the naughty step at work. And I can get home for pick-up without incurring a line manager's wrath. Reading a book with a warm, milky, sleepy DS cuddled up to me. DS loving the uni library. And finding that, since having DS, I give a lot less of a shit about a lot of the work stuff that used to worry me. Though that might also be the result of being closer to 40 and mid career 
Anyone else? Frustrations? Highlights? Stuff in the middle?
MedSchoolRat · 09/12/2015 17:37
You have to get very creative, for sure. Try to keep your energy up. :)
NeverEverAnythingEver · 11/12/2015 21:39
Almost the same highlights as you, though I haven't taken DC to the library.
I haven't been to any conferences that involves staying overnight ... But I'm not sure I want to anyway ...
Parietal · 11/12/2015 21:55
conferences at weekends are my major frustration - WHY do conference organisers think it is a good idea to take up a whole weekend with work and create major childcare issues for many attendees with little ones?
anonooo · 13/12/2015 09:47
Going abroad for conferences and having to cut it fine, thus reducing the time for fun and hobnobbing, and feeling somewhat guilty about being away from DC and leaving DP with it yet again...when one should be delirious to be on a paid for jolly in a new place.
sushidave · 16/12/2015 22:12
I agree completely with anon about landing at a conference, staying for a day or two and then zooming off again without any of the fun bits. Although I've just booked a few days away with some conveniently inconvenient flights that give me an extra day away . I know a couple of families who make conferences into holidays, with one partner presenting whilst the other hangs out in the city / beach with the kid. Haven't managed to do this myself yet due to DH's equivalent workaholism, but we might get there one day. One thing we've done is to take part of my research leave abroad, with family coming out to look after DC. It worked out pretty well and probably our one and only chance - not possible once the DC starts school.
YY to autonomy too, I can't imagine having to book an hour off here and there anymore. Downsides are the fact the job is never done, so whilst I can nip off to pick up at a decent time, it invariably means cracking open the laptop again after bedtime. Which basically translates to having zero time to myself. Good job I like my job. Most of the time.
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