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Original poster

peri menopause and ADHD

15 replies

DragonBornWayofTheVoice · 07/05/2023 06:32

Was hoping to chat about this and also off load the problems this had caused.
(sorry its a long one)

Ok so in the 80s my mum found out I had hypoactiverty disorder. at the time not a lot was known/researched, but the key things were, she had to put me on a strick diet avoiding certain E numbers, pure orange juice and milk. was also advised I'd grow out of it.

the diet did work and 7 year old me even felt the difference and loved the new calm i felt.

I was on the strick diet for nearly 2 years then gradually added stuff back in (mainly through nagging and not wanting to miss out on stuff other kids ate)

pre diet, I was hypoactive wouldn't sleep, would stay up all night sneak down stairs and watch favourite videos all night to stem the lonely feeling. couldn't concentrate and was always 'attention seeking'.

we all thought I did grow out of it, but actually looking back, no the symptoms just changed. My teenage years were a mess.

by 19 I'd learnt to mask and keep a lid on my most annoying and impulsive behaviours.

in late 20s early 30s had a near breakdown and suffered really badly with A&D (I also had a young family which I think again pushed me to be super responsible and a good roll model which I think caused a lot of my A&D)

since then, again I've masked and generally kept myself to the outside world normal (my husband knows the true me and loves me regardless)

Anyway.....

come mid 40s here I am wondering what the fuck is going on with me, and have come to the conclusion that the hypoactivety disorder never went away and the diagnosis today would be ADHD.

With my hormones starting to change again so is my ADHD.

I feel like I'm losing all control, I am not sleeping properly again which is compounding the worst of my ADHD behaviours, I'm swinging from fatigue and then literally having so much energy I don't know what to do with it. luckily I have a physical job so when at work i put everything into it, I look like I'm on speed or something to everyone around because I'm so wired. this is after around 20 hours sleep in a week.

I feel anxious, twitchy, tired. and now my filter has gone and I'm saying random impulsive stuff, that really I need to stop think before I speak, so I stop getting myself and others in trouble(wrong word but couldn't think of the right one) which inturn makes me more anxious because I've put my foot in it and kick myself continually and wish I could turn back time. these thoughts hit me all the time especially when I'm just about to dose off. then I end up involuntary says "Noooooo" and stuff.

I've just started looking into peri menopause and now I'm looking into ADHD and the menopause.

I just feel so lost at the moment, will probably make a gp appointment, but really just want to talk to anyone who can relate, I feel like I've lost all my previous control.

OP posts:
Original poster
DragonBornWayofTheVoice · 07/05/2023 08:48

anyone?

OP posts:
stbrandonsboat · 07/05/2023 09:19

You can't control ADHD with dietary adjustments. Whilst some things may adversely affect symptoms, it wouldn't be enough to revolutionise your life or control the ADHD to that much of an extent.

behindanothername · 07/05/2023 09:24

Look for articles by Dr Amanda Kirby, she has done quite a bit around ADHD and menopause. Hormones fluctuations cause challenges with ADHD, it is another reason we are seeing a lot more late diagnosis. The coping mechanisms we put in place when younger start not being able to cope when you add extra variables such as partner or kids or jobs getting more challenging, then you add hormonal flux and then the cracks start to show. ADHD can be partly supported by techniques such as pomodoro and others however it depends on where your challenges and the impacts are to whether meds for instance would help.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Menopause Women's health
YukoandHiro · 07/05/2023 09:47

Have you had a recent diagnosis from a professional? I say this very gently because obvs it's impossible to say online, but some of your symptoms sound like my friend before she was diagnosed with bipolar at a similar age. She'd also had symptoms all her life.

Original poster
DragonBornWayofTheVoice · 07/05/2023 10:30

Thanks for your replies, they are helpful.

Well the diet did work, not to say I was magical cured just it allowed me to sleep and my concerntration calmed and focused I still had other traits but more manageable.

I'll have read of dr Amanda Kirby, thank you.

ADHD and bipolar can share some of the same symptoms. But since I've had do a lot of research in past for ADHA because of my own DS. I'm well aware that my symptoms line up with ADHA and what was known just as hypoactivety disorder which i was diagnosed with (pretty unknown and rare to get for a girl back in the 80s).

I've spent the last 30 years modifying and learning to cope with this and the bipolar similarities are small. but more seen by others if you see what I mean.

Reading up on menopause and adhd has cemented what I suspected is going on. but it hasn't made it any easier.

I think the lack of sleep this past week has just amplified it all, to the point I'm feeling lost and out of control.

I need to find a new way of coping and keeping a lid on it. starting with sleep!

OP posts:
Mabelface · 07/05/2023 10:38

Menopause is when the wheels really fell off for me. That's when I looked into assessment and have since been diagnosed with asd/adhd as my (barely!) coping mechanisms stopped working. I'm now medicated and my life is much better.

Regarding the crossover with bipolar, many women have previously been incorrectly diagnosed with this due to the lack of knowledge and research until neurodiversity in women.

Original poster
DragonBornWayofTheVoice · 07/05/2023 10:50

Mabelface

oh you don't know what a relief it feels to me to read that you have been there too.

do you mind me asking what the medication is? is for ADHD or the menopause? do you feel you have lost any part you? I know this sounds weird but I do love some of my traits they are me, I love how I can use hyperfocus to move mountains when I want too. generally too over the last 15 years people see me a really happy person with energy, which is how I feel most of the time. these are things I don't want to lose.

I was on antidepressants for 3 years and rather then relieving my anxiety and dark depression, it just knock all personality out of me and I lost any ability to be happy or worse angry (when there was a situation in my life that getting angry and giving a fuck was really needed, I couldn't muster more than a meh)

I'm now scared of losing thar and going back to nothingness. I know it won't be antidepressants this time, but I'm still feel cautious.

OP posts:
Mabelface · 07/05/2023 10:57

I'm on Conceta XL for my adhd and I'm on hrt. I've not lost any facet of my personality. I'm still very much me, just one who now has the ability to focus, doesn't procrastinate anywhere near as much and can think before speaking. My mind no longer races at a million miles an hour and the constant negative chatter in my head has gone, along with the near permanent earworm.

The anxiety also melted away as I wasn't on such high alert all the time. I was able to come off my anti anxiety meds.

So essentially still me, just a new, improved version!

CC4712 · 07/05/2023 11:13

My SIL, also an 80's child, was diagnosed with ADHD and also had multiple diets to try. I think she was medicated though. As a young adult she had panic attacks, anxiety and difficulty making friends etc.

She is now late 30's. She went to (I think) a psychiatrist and has now been diagnosed with bi polar. The Dr doesn't think she ever had ADHA and that especially in women- its a common misdiagnoses. SIL is doing SO much better now. She is on different meds and says life has never been so good.

I'd suggest getting a more up to date diagnosis. Best of luck op x

Original poster
DragonBornWayofTheVoice · 07/05/2023 11:33

As a young adult she had panic attacks, anxiety and difficulty making friends etc

yeah that's not me though. a long with a lot of other bipolar symptoms.

I also don't have massive downs. i put in my op that I swung from fatigue (not sadness/ depression/lows) to having massives of energy (not not massive highs, happiness, manic)

I also know people with bipolar.

I know you and the other person are saying it out of helpfulness but you are relaying someone else's experience to me.

OP posts:
Original poster
DragonBornWayofTheVoice · 07/05/2023 11:46

Mabelface
that's reassuring to hear! yes the constant chatter, earworm, and mind racing would be a relief 😅 and DH would probably love to see my procrastination dealt with. I've learned to live with it, but then that's because he picks up the slack on that. bless him anything that can only be done by me will always get done just last minute dot com 😁

I'm going to make a doctors appointment on Tuesday. I think I'm peri at the moment so not sure it's a time for HRT? I can't bring myself to find out more than sufface stuff about the menopause. I know I really should!

OP posts:
CC4712 · 07/05/2023 11:46

My SIL also never had highs and lows and had no reason to suspect bi polar at all.

I know you and the other person are saying it out of helpfulness but you are relaying someone else's experience to me.

Sorry OP- but what are you expecting from your post then??? All we can do is give you examples of family or ourselves who have had similar symptoms to what your describe. If you don't want to hear other peoples experiences- then don't post and instead seek a professional who can support YOU in YOUR journey. You may not realise you have come across as pretty rude to those of us who are trying to help!

Original poster
DragonBornWayofTheVoice · 07/05/2023 11:51

I asked for people who could relate?

can you relate?

sorry if I come as rude but, I tried to explain the first time but some people on the Internet think they know me and my life better then me.

I have an DS with ADHD also. which I've spent a lot of time dealing with getting help for.

OP posts:
Mabelface · 07/05/2023 12:48

Peri is absolutely the time for hrt. This is when your oestrogen levels are fluctuating and dropping. Go speak to your gp about this and also bring referred for assessment. As your son has adhd, it's very often an inherited condition. My eldest adult son's diagnosis also made me think about how my brain works as we're fairly similar! All 4 of my kids are nd in one form or other.

Original poster
DragonBornWayofTheVoice · 07/05/2023 13:12

Thank you. So it looks like I could make a lot of progress with doctor on Tuesday(if I get a same day appointment fingers crossed) yes I was planning on getting a referral or atleast bringing up my old diagnosis and seeing where we got to.

I was struck by how quickly I spotted my DS's symptoms when he was little because I recognised them immediately from experience. Our family is quite similar too all ND, plus looking back on our parents, it's kinda all there in plain sight.

I'm feeling a lot better today, yesterday (biggest foot in mouth want the world to swallow me up event) and this morning was was just awful, I've been up since 3.30am.

right now sleep is my biggest priority!

I was a weepy mess when I wrote the OP and only just noticed I've spelt adhd wrong in my title and all the way through the OP 😳🤦‍♀️

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