Am I being PFB about what DS (3 yo) said when he came home from nursery?

[MarionCole]

I expect that he has just got the wrong end of the stick or has not really understood what is going on, however he was quite upset so I'm really not sure whether I should bring it up in the morning.

He said that he wasn't allowed to go to the library van (he loves books) because "naughty boys who don't eat their dinner aren't allowed treats like going to the library van". It was obviously on his mind, he kept on about it.

He's not always a great eater, he likes what he likes and he's going through a phase of not being particularly adventurous and not trying things he doesn't like the look of. I think they all go through this phase, don't they? Anyway, I'm not making an issue of it at home and I absolutely don't want him to think it's naughty not to eat your dinner, I don't want food to become an issue.

Am I being too PFB in bringing it up? I know they have a difficult job dealing with numerous parents and all their unreasonable demands.

No, not PFB and not unreasonable. They shouldn't be equating food/eating with naughtiness and they shouldn't be withholding access to books as a punishment. Talk to the manager - I think that's shit of them.

What hassled said.

Ask his key worker about it and get her side of the story. They do have to deal with various different ways parents deal with things - but if you make clear to them how you want food dealt with (he doesn't have to eat his dinner, it's not naughty, and you don't want him punished for it) then they should be prepared to do things your way.

I agree with Hassled.
Unreasonable and unprofessional, whether he was your 16th, or a PFB.

Sounds as if he's repeating something said to him. No, don't think it's unreasonable to ask about it, as taking away books shouldn't be a punishment and agree that if a big deal is made about food, then kids can get anxious.

Think I'd say, 'DS was disappointed to have missed the library van...' and see what they say. If it was a punishment, then say that you are fairly relaxed about him eating or not eating, but would prefer that he isn't punished as he will eat when he's hungry....

I've always been very happy with them and I'm just worried that DS has got the wrong end of the stick. I'm going to carry on worrying about it though if I don't bring it up, aren't I? Oh, I hate confrontational situations.

I like that suggestion Herecomesthesciencebint, a bit less confrontational to say "DS isn't being clear but he is upset, can you explain to me what was said to him so I can talk to him about it?"

Well, you need to ask.
He could have been using his dinner as playfood, or pinging bits at others rather than just not eating it.

I second sciencebint's idea. And no, you're not being PFB. I would be at anyone telling my children that they couldn't have books because they'd been 'naughty' about not eating. This is one reason mine didn't go to nursery. If anyone's going to mess them up, it's going to be me!

Don't have much choice I'm afraid Alfreda.

Right, going to have to psych myself up for an awkward conversation.

Good luck!

I said from the start that I thought he had probably got the wrong end of the stick, put two conversations together and the wrong conclusion, or that it might have been something that another kid had said to him. Anyway, they were really good about it, assured me that 'naughty' is a word they never use and that the library van hadn't been for about 3 weeks! So God knows where he got it from. They said also that they understand and agree with my approach to food. All good .

I reckon it was probably something another child said to him. Or he dreamt it. He's convinced that I once left him in the library and that DH pinched his biscuit off him and drove off in a campervan, so thinking about it a dream is probably most likely! Kids, what a pain in the arse, who'd 'ave'm.