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Noone ever uses this board so this will probably go unanswered.....

24 replies

TulipsInTheSunshine · 21/06/2010 09:48

but i'll ask anyway

I've arranged my sons' christenings for the end of july, to coincide with ds1's birthday. We'll be having a big party... mostly for ds1's birthday but the priest was kind enouh to give us a christening date for the weekend we were having his birthday party anyway so it'll be a joint christening/birthday bash.

I arranged the date weeks ago but have just found out that all my english cousins will be over visiting at the time as it's my uncle's birthday a week later and they're having a big do.

My mother thinks i shouldn't mention it to them as they'll all feel obligatd to come and bring presents and i do agree to a certain extent but i also think if they find out i'm holding a party and haven't invited them they'll think it's incredibly rude of me. They most likely will find out as our kids are similar ages and will be playing together lots for the two weeks they're over, not to mention all the irish family will be at it as my younger cousin will be ds2's godfather and my parents will obviously be there too so we'll all be conspicuously absent from the area they'll be staying in (where my aunt and parents live) for the day.

So how do i invite them without it sounding like i've purposefully arranged the christening for when they're over to get more gifts? (the boys will be 4 and 17 months so the christening has been delayed massively already so it is going to look a little odd me ringing them right after they let us know the dates they're arriving and announcing it's on three days after they get here)

Such a mess, we had assumed they were coming over for the fisrt two weeks of august and i had purposeully arranged the party for before then to avoid this awkwardness!

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EleanorHandbasket · 21/06/2010 09:50

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Thistledew · 21/06/2010 09:52

Do you actually want to see them?

If you do, send them a message: "I have just realised that you will be in the country for the weekend of DS's Christening. It would be lovely to see you if you can come. Please, no presents."

CMOTdibbler · 21/06/2010 09:53

I'd just say 'oh, realised that you'll be over this weekend when we are having a party for DS1's birthday and the christening - would be lovely if you wanted to come'. You don't need to say anything else imo, esp as it is a birthday party too. Much worse not to be invited at all

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KnickKnack · 21/06/2010 09:54

ahh the politics of Irish family life I always ask my mum what to do, she always knows whats "right" or "expected" or "the done thing" (although I don't necessarily agree with/take her advise all the time)

I would invite them to the birthday party and mention that the christening is on the same day and they're welcome to come along to that (the church) too if they would like.

MmeLindt · 21/06/2010 09:57

You are over thinking it.

Phone or email them saying that you have realised that they are going to be here on the day of the christening/birthday party and that you would love to have them there, if they have nothing else planned.

Why should they feel annoyed at having to bring a present?

KissWithAFistula · 21/06/2010 09:58

Invite them!

Can just say "ooh how lucky, we've got a bit of a party that weekend what with it being birhday and christening time. Come along"

They would have to be v cynical to think you deliberatly managed to arrange christening for same weekend at such short notice anyway.

ps you'll be hosting the celebration so will be providing food and drinks etc. so they will be well compensated

LynetteScavo · 21/06/2010 10:02

It's not a mess, just invite them.

They might even think you'd arranged it so they could be there, because you wanted them there. Because you are friendly.

I've never thought I was invited anywhere because I would bring a gift. Your mother is being a bit odd.

Do as Thistledew suggests.

TulipsInTheSunshine · 21/06/2010 10:33

knickknack... it is only an understandable problem if you're irish isn't it?

Irish family politics have to be experianced to be believed trust me, lol.

Anyway, i'll trust you lot and invite them seeing as they're english so will presumably think more like you lot than my crazed irish mother (who has ordered me to say nothing and somehow expects me to stop the kids from telling their cousins about the only thing they ever talk about these days.. the bloody party!)

Going to send them an email now with thistledews suggested phrasing

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KnickKnack · 21/06/2010 12:44

Tulips are you our Tsarina? or am I mixing you up with someone else?

TulipsInTheSunshine · 21/06/2010 15:01

yep, i'm who you're thinking. Not that i do much tsarina work... no-one ever uses the irish board!

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KnickKnack · 21/06/2010 15:03

I went in there yesterday and even the tumbleweeds have left

TulipsInTheSunshine · 21/06/2010 15:07
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KnickKnack · 21/06/2010 15:17

Donegal, so not a million miles away

TulipsInTheSunshine · 21/06/2010 15:33

ah, had it in my head you were north of me alright.

is it blisteringly hot up there too? first time we've had a sunny day for summer solstice in years.

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KnickKnack · 21/06/2010 16:07

sunny and windy, not cold...but a long way from hot!

ChippyMinton · 21/06/2010 16:20

Agree with others - you are over-thinking it.If it were me visiting (DH is 'English' side of huge Irish family) I would be delighted to come along, and would bring a little gift anyway, so as to 'arrive with one arm longer than the other' or whatever it is my MIL says . I lurve Irish parties!

KnickKnack - can I hijack the thread? DH and I are over to Donegal for a wedding in August. Any tips for what else to do whilst we are there?

KnickKnack · 21/06/2010 16:39

Chippy, what part of Donegal? Tis a very big county!

Glenveagh National Park is fantastic, there are guided tours and walks, or you can just roam around on your own. Bring a picnic. Use the shuttle bus from the car park to the "main" area and save your energy for all the paths and walks there. I vaguely remember there are more events like music, dancing, owls etc at the weekends, but I'm not sure). Ideally it needs to be a sunny day, although a dry day would possibly be as much as you could expect!

Will put my thinking cap on

dinosaur · 21/06/2010 16:44

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KnickKnack · 21/06/2010 16:55

I remember you from ages ago Dinosaur! Haven't come across you on here in a while though (name changed a good while ago as I'd given away my identity too many times under my old name!)

dinosaur · 21/06/2010 16:57

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ChippyMinton · 21/06/2010 17:27

That sounds lovely. We are staying in Donegal Town and will have a hire car, if that helps.

KnickKnack · 21/06/2010 17:31

sorry, no idea about that side of the county! Glenveagh is worth the drive though, turn it into a day trip perhaps with part of the day at the beach. Port Salon and surrounding area is gorgeous, lots of fab beaches.

dinosaur · 21/06/2010 21:11

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TulipsInTheSunshine · 22/06/2010 10:32

well all that overthinking was a waste of energy anyway as my mother wasn't listening properly to what she was told (hardly unusual) and they're not coming til the week after

[phew] wasn't keen on them seeing the state of my shack house anyway

Chippy, i agree... the beaches in Donegal are fabulous, whether you get the weather for them is another matter

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