Just got back from a week's holiday with DH and our 2 DC and an old friend, her DH and her 2 DC....it was mostly good but I felt like my friend was very critical and snippy with me and my DC. Lots of tiny, silly "slights" (as I see them) or "jokes" as she perhaps sees them mean that here I am, back at home and instead of reflecting on a lovely family holiday, I am just going over and over lots of conversations and my mind is racing.
Probably a bit pointless to list the slights as there are mostly petty, I know that. My DH says I take things too seriously, and I accept this. I always have.
But my question is:
not to be nasty towards my friend, but for my own mental peace, should I distance myself from her?
The mild comments were things like:
- "your DC 2 [age 16 months] needs to start using her words, she is frustrated not being able to speak, she needs to use her words"
- when her DC had a strop over sharing toys: "to be fair, they are his toys, so I think it's a bit much to ask him to share"
- when after a long day on the beach, I put the kids to bed, had a bath and came down in my dressing gown to eat a kitchen supper with the other grown ups, she said:
"ooooh, look at you, what a classy look, supping wine in your dressing gown, nice!"
Her kids were real daredevils on the beach whilst mine are more reserved and there were lots of positive comments from her about how fab and outgoing and "mad" her kids were and a few about
The more extreme comments were thi,ngs like:
- "why do you dress your daughters in Boden-esque pretty outfits if you consider yourself a feminist?"
"why do you read Cinderella / Snow White type stories to your DC when this is anti feminist and bound to cause her nightmares about wicked witches and evil step mothers when she gets to about 5 or 6"
and a great big full on row about the school we have chosen for our DC, along the lines of sate vs private vs faith.
I know these examples do sound petty and as I said, I accept that this is more of a reflection on my own thin skin. The point is, can I afford to lose a friend (we live abroad and don't have loads of friends in the country where we live or back in England) or should I just suck it up?