Friend's birthday lunch: said I would go, but I'm worried about cost

[PrincessFiorimonde]

A friend phoned a few days ago to invite me to her birthday lunch in July. It's a Big Birthday and she's planning to invite 10 friends (she's not pinned down to a certain number, but doesn't want a huge event).

I said yes. But now I'm worrying, as I know this lunchtime excursion, including drinks, will cost at least £60, plus taxis to and from the venue.

I work freelance, but work has dried up a little recently. I am hoping for a new contract in July (but can't guarantee this will happen). So although I'd love to go to this Big Birthday Bash, and have said I will, I am now panicking because I'm not sure I can afford it. On the other hand, of course, I don't want to let my friend down.

Would I be very rude to tell her now that I'd love to go but am not sure I can afford it?

Or, having already said I'll go, should I stick with that, even though (to be perfectly frank) £60+ is beginning to seem like a lot of money?

What would you do?

be honest. tell her... if she is a good friend she will undersatnd, i don;t thikn thre is a person in teh land who has not been affected by financial hard times over the last 12 - 18 mths

(except for some MPs!)

Def be honest with her. If she is a good friend she will understand.

Alternatively, try and put £5 in a jar each week (not sure how tight things are), and hopefully by July you'll have enough + new work coming in. If not, you can always tell her the week before that you cannot afford it?

If there's any way you can stick with it then I think you should, as you've already said you will go. If you're in your friend's top 10 people to invite then I'm sure it will mean a great deal to her if you are there, especially as it is a "Big" birthday.

You could always pull a sickie the day before/on the day.
Or you could eat a salad and drink lemonade and not havea pudding or starter to save on cost?

Do you have to give a gift too? Maybe make something or give a really nice card and explain.

Thanks for your comments. (Couldn't get back to thread last night as connection was playing up.)

I don't think I could pull a sickie; that would feel a bit mean, as she wouldn't have time to find someone else.

Interesting that a couple of you think it would be ok to tell her, and back out. But, on relection, I think capstone is right - having said I'll go, I ought to. Next time, I'll think it through first before committing myself!

Yes, pippop, will give a gift too.

This is the comment (from capstone) that really made me think I'd be mean not to go: 'If you're in your friend's top 10 people to invite then I'm sure it will mean a great deal to her if you are there, especially as it is a "Big" birthday.'

Capstone: you are quite right!

Once again - thanks for all your comments.