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falling at the first hurdle

11 replies

rattymcfatty · 26/05/2010 19:18

i have been single for a few years now and have recently met someone who seems like a nice man. I really like him but i'm plagued with doubts about how he feels about me. I'm feeling so stressed about it all, i'm starting to feel it's not worth the effort and maybe i should just stay on my own. I don't know whether just to forget the whole thing or to plod on and see what happens.

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rattymcfatty · 26/05/2010 19:40

i wonder if he has the same lack of interest as mn ;)

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Portofino · 26/05/2010 19:43

Yuo need to chill out. Stop worrying about it. If he is for you, it will work out. If not, it won't. People don't like "desperation". Just go with the flow and be yourself. I bet you are lovely.

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rattymcfatty · 26/05/2010 20:03

i am very aware of looking desperate, i'm trying to keep my distance a bit and not overwhelm him. I felt fine all the while he seemed more interested than me, now the boot is on the other foot and i don't like it. I am fecking awkward obviously lol

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Portofino · 26/05/2010 20:21

Can you find something to keep yourself busy/mind off the situation? Arrange something with a friend?

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rattymcfatty · 26/05/2010 20:40

i think i will have to. I've got a busy couple of days ahead so that should help. You don't think i should just knock it on the head then?

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Portofino · 26/05/2010 20:58

No - of course not. Live your life for you. Not hanging about for him. If he is interested he will still be there. If your life is more interesting, it makes you happier and more fulfilled. This is attractive to other people. And if is doesn't work out, you still have a more interesting and fulfilling life.

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rattymcfatty · 26/05/2010 21:13

thanks porto for taking the time to talk to me

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Portofino · 26/05/2010 21:18

you're welcome. Maybe your OP title is a bit vague so people don't click. I'm not super expert on relationships

It's hard when you first get together with someone. All butterflies and uncertainty, I know. Stressing about it won't change anything though.

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FabIsGoingToGetFit · 26/05/2010 21:20

Try and just chill.

See this guy as a practice one .

If it doesn't go very fair, no loss but if you relax, who knows?

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rattymcfatty · 26/05/2010 21:55

oh i know i'm being ridiculous and over keen, i feel like i'm a bloody teenager. He's been on his own a long time as well and has a busy life, i know i can't expect him to just make room for me. Weirdly if he was too keen, it would probably scare me off. I'm too old for this crap.

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iamfabregasted · 26/05/2010 22:10

Ratty, you me and my best mate could write a book I bet lol.

So far, I have shagman(depressed, alcholic, anorexic, drug user - although very very cute and eminently shagable), and sven (norwegian tobacco chewer). Oh and bouncerman who lets his dogs sleep in the bed, but hoovers up every morning and leaves the house spotless before going to work.

She has bakerboy who thinks his sleep has to be quality and is OCD bout cleaning.

In all seriousness, don't worry! He's probably just busy. At least you managed to bag a decent bloke which makes you better than us lol.