Living with a Friend and the Place is Filthy!

[AnnieBeansMum]

I'm hoping someone will be able to give me some advice. DH and I are emigrating to Canada at the end of June but moved out of our rental property on Monday (trying to save a bit more money). MIL and my friend have very kindly offered to put us up for the next month before we go.

Moved into friend's house on Monday and already we are struggling. She is a wonderful friend and we both absolutely adore her, but the place is disgusting. She has two dogs and a cat with a weeping cyst which is allowed on the table and the worktop. She is so sweet, but she hates housework so just doesn't do it. DH spent all day yesterday desperately trying to clean while friend and I were at work. He used up a whole bottle of bleach and washed the floors 5 times! Our socks are still black. We are constantly disinfecting the counters and the table as the cat leaves gross puddles of pus and blood everywhere.

To top it all off, dd is not dealing well with the dogs. They are sweet dogs but they get very excited to see us when we come home and it freaks her out. We are meant to be here for 2 weeks before going to MIL's place mid-June. I really do not want to fall out with my friend but I don't think we can stay here. I'm worried about dd picking up an infection from the cat and/or getting knocked down by excited dogs.

How do I tactfully broach the subject with her? I really think we need to move out. DH and I are already arguing about the house, the dogs, the cat and I don't want it to get worse.

Any suggestions?

If MIL's happy to have you early then tell your friend that DD isn't coping well with the dogs. And buy her a great big present for being so lovely.

Use the situation with your dd and the dogs as your excuse, she won't be offended by that. Thank her profusely, buy her a nice present, and go and stay with your MIL early.

What Plum said.

And the cat needs to see a vet.

ditto leave early. if not an option, can you afford to get some professional cleaners in for a one off job?? i know you said you were saving money but you could tell your friend it was a thank you present....hopefully not too expensive for a few hours? also find out what vet the cat is registered with, book an appt, stuff the cat in a catbox and present it to your friend when she comes home, saying "oh i was really worried about your cat so i rang the vet for some advie and they will see it in 10 mins."

good luck

That is what we were thinking of doing. We are going so far away and I really don't want to upset her, but I feel grimy all day long regardless of whether or not I shower. DD is fine when the dogs are calm, but when they're not, she just cries and cries.

I think I shall have to have a talk to MIL and see whether she is happy for us to come early.

The cat is going in to the vet on Friday to have surgery to remove the cyst. This has already been done about 4 times. We have tried talking to her about quality of life, but she just won't listen.

Sorry to post and run, but she has come home and I don't want her looking over my shoulder and seeing this. It was upset her.

Thanks everyone.

'can you afford to get some professional cleaners in for a one off job??'

If you did that to me, you'd be out on the street with your bags as fast as I could throw them through the window.
Had you never visited your friend at home before moving in for a month?
She sounds a happy slattern, and a generous friend. I'd either move n with MIL or rent for the interval.

if someone were to get me professional cleaners as a thank you i owuld love them forever. esp if my house was obv that dirty.

We would never consider getting a cleaner in without her permission (we would never consider cleaners full stop tbh).

We knew the house was messy, but as we never really spent a great deal of time here because of dd, we didn't appreciate quite how dirty it actually is. We will just keep cleaning - she seems absolutely fine with us doing this.