Neighbour keeps bringing food for my children

[IlanaK]

I think this is the third time I have posted recently about neighbours, but they are all different ones!

My upstairs neighbour is an old man - very sweet. He doesn't get out much. He has invited us for tea once when we moved in (which we did go) and he calls my husband a lot on his mobile (given to him at a time when we had building works going in).

The problem is that he keeps bringing food for my kids. Last time it was 20 (yes 20!!) individual trifle pots for my boys. Today it was two massive family sized frozen apple pies. Up to now I have been saying how kind he is and how he shouldn't. I know he obviously gets pleasure from doing this, but I actually don't want my kids eating this stuff. I have given most of it away to friends, but my boys see the neighbour giving it to me and get upset when I say they can't have it. I DID let them have a trifle pot each, but I really don't want them having this stuff.

So, do I just keep accepting it, or do I (in the nicest possible way) tell him that he is kind and sweet but we would really prefer our children not to have sweet things?

oh bless him - that's very sweet but I wonder why he does it? why would he have 20 trifle pots???

your making his day a little better - just accept - be nice and give it away. your boys can cope.

aw no you cant refuse to take his gifts.

let your boys have a little and give the rest away.
he sounds lovely. my kids dont have any grandparents - can i adopt him?

Is he british?

I agree, just accept it.

Lucie - why does that matter

It doesn't matter - I just know that in some different countries, people like to give people food as gifts.

whats wrong with trifle and apple pie
its sooooo delicious
No seriously he just sounds a bit lonely and seems to enjoy treating you all to food, I would just accept otherwise you risk hurting his feelings

He is not British, but has been living upstairs for the last 50 years.

I suppose that one of the reasons I feel uncomfortable about it is that I don't really want to reciprocate by inviting him over or anything.

I did try giving him homebaked bread on the day we went to tea. He gave it back saying he wouldn't eat it!

Perhaps he thinks they look a bit thin. Is he Eastern European?

We used to visit a Polish residential home with my grandfather who worked there doing their administration when he retired. The Polish nuns who run it used to love having children to visit and would take us into the huge dining room and provide us with china cups of tea, trifles, fruit, cakes and sweets. They took great pleasure from seeing us enjoy their baking and didn't understand when we said no thank you.

What's wrong with trifle and apple pie? Nor 20 trifles in one go, obviously! But can't you all demolish an apple pie with custard on a Sunday?

Reciprocate by getting the children to draw a picture or two for him, and maybe invite him in for a drink or something?

accept the food! that is lovely. i really wish we had more of a community feel. nowadays everyone keeps private, more of a every man for themselves. neighbours are unknown people who live next to you

thank the man, get the dc to draw him a picture (like seeker suggested) or ask if he would like to go to the park with you. if you do a baking with the kids, save a cupcake for him, just maybe include him a tiny bit in your lives. i think it would be a great benefit to all concerned

(wants your neighbour)

I lived next door to a lovely elerly man for 8 years.. without fail every week he would give me fresh fish from the market, fruit and veg from his allotment or the market and a bar of chocolate!! He was delightful and loved to do it. I reciprocated by cooking him the odd stew and helping with odd jobs!

Just accept the food and smile!

Seeker has this. Get the kids to do a drawing or make a card or I don't know how old they are, but something.

And don't worry too much about apple pie. It has apples in it!

Childhood is the time to eat apple pie and custard!!