Don't want other kids from the street constantly in house and garden.

[Whippet]

My two kids are the oldest in our street (a cul-de-sac) by a few years (8 & 10). There are a few other families with various kids under 7 - we get on with them all fine, and are friendly.

BUT as soon as my kids are out in the garden on the trampoline, or in the drive (basketball hoop) then all the other kids seem to turn up - first in the back garden, and then pestering to come into the house to play.

This bothers me for a number of reasons:

• I like a bit of family time together in the garden at weekends, and often my Dad is over and reading in the garden

• My kids don't actually really want to play with many of these kids.

• I don't want to have to feel responsible for watching out for a 6 year old on the trampoline if I'm busy indoors doing something else.

In summer we like to keep our door unlocked for easy access into the garden, but some of these kids have started coming into the house round the back!
Some of them are very persistent! A 6 year old was here today about 4.30 and said he was 'just going to stay for an hour until tea time'

The other problem is that my kids have quite a lot of toys/ models/hobbies etc which are unsuitable for younger kids and they get upset if their stuff gets detroyed.

Do you just tell kids it's not convenient and sned them away?

What's wrong with saying No?
I just don't understand the problem that a lot of people seem to have with saying no to other people's children, is this going to be a recurrent theme all summer?
if it was their mothers popping round, sunbathing in your garden and helping themselves to your lippie and DVDs, you'd not have a problem setting some boundaries I hope?
So why the angst about children?

Say: no, not today. And send them on their way. You don't have to explain. Do it for two days they won't try again.

You have no responsibility to be a creche or soft play centre to the neighbourhood.

TEll them they cant play today
They will son get the message

We get this too. They are nice kids in our street but I feel I have to watch others' children more carefully as I don't know them so well and they don't know my 'rules' etc about the trampoline.

I have learned to say "Not today sweetheart" repeatedly (always with big smile, head pat etc) then, "Pop back to your house".

The trick is to give no explanation or use any other words. Makes me sound like latterday Joyce Grenfell but for me it's the right balance of friendly (I want to get on with the neighbours) but firm.

Hope this helps.

just tell em

Blimey - they're obviously more persistent b*ggers round here then! Clearly I need to be more direct. I had already told the 6 year-old that it wasn't convenient for him to come in as we have builders in at the moment, and things are unsafe, and cramped/ a mess. He went back outside, and I then had to go to tell him NOT to climb on the new brickwork etc (dangerous).

If we say 'no, we're about to have tea' they're back again an hour later!

Is there a nice way of saying 'we just don't want you here today, thanks...'?

Whippet - you seem to be saying no too nicely. You should not feel obliged to explain that it is not convenient and why. Just say no (and a little growl).

The other thing is that they don't usually ask to play (giving me a chance to say 'not today') I just FIND them in the house or the garden!

Our house is spread over three floors, and if I'm upstairs I sometimes don't hear or see them arrive.

I am also a bit about a couple of the kids, as they always seem to arrive when their Mums are out, and their Dads are 'looking after' them

LoL - like the idea of a growl!

I think you're right - I just don't like having to deal with the situation in the first place..

Lock your front door and your back gate and say NO. Don't explain, don't apologise. If you find someone unathorised in your house then tell them off and send them home. Otherwise, you are a soft touch and they will continue to disrespect you and your home.

"Is there a nice way of saying 'we just don't want you here today, thanks...'?"

yes

"we don't want anyone coming to play today, thanks"

it is perfectly fine to say this
just be firm and clear - they are being confused by the niceness
"we're having tea now" DOES mean "come back in an hour"
be clear and polite - there's nothing wrong with saying you don't want visitors that day

What about
"actually we don't want anyone coming to play today, or ever, thanks"

Have you considered a high power hose?

Don't be afraid of them!
Shout if you must.
Become the neighbourhood scary-lady. (I am the local harridan round our parts. I am happy in my role.)

Oooh, I used to have this problem when my eldest was younger, he is 21 now. I remember that he had on friend his age and whenever he came round all the brothers and sisters would come round, and the neighbour's children would soon follow.
I set a rule of only 1 child at a time, so that invariably meant only the actual friend was allowed and others had to leave. Persistence is key, they soon get the message.
Think of something that would exclude all of them, such as only children over 8, for safety reasons.
Good luck!

If you live in a cul-de-sac, can't you just kick them all outside to play? I seem to remember spending most of my childhood outside in the cul-de-sac, riding bikes, playing tennis etc.
I know exactly what you mean - it is hard having to "supervise" everyone's kids and having them tramp round the house uninvited. Having said that, nice that your kids are popular and getting the chance to socialise - we just moved to a new village and I'd love some of the local kids to get to know mine.