Advice on how to politely handle situation?

[hmmSleep]

I took dd (4yrs) and ds (2yrs) to the museum today. One of the curators had dwarfism. My ds walked right up to him, pointed and shouted 'look at the funny man Mummy!' I pretended I hadn't really heard and just said, 'The man works here, say hello.' He then kept repeated what he'd said until we left the room.

I understand this is a very natural reaction from a 2yr old, but I realised I had no idea how to politely handle the situation, and I don't think my just pretending I hadn't heard when I obviously had was very polite. (Ds said it very loudly about 6 times and we were the only people in the room!)

Once we were outside I did explain that calling someone funny is rude, as is pointing, and explained about dwarfism. I think my dd understood but could tell ds didn't understand what I was saying at all.

Any suggestions on how to best respond when this inevitably happens again?

Oh, awkward.

I don't think you could have handled the situation much differently. Your ds is too young to understand consideration, tact, etc.

The only thing you could have done was talk to him later about how people come in all different shapes, sizes, skintones, hair, etc, and tell him it is never ok to laugh at someone else's body.

Agree that you keep it simple. People may look different but it is very rude to point or laugh or shout at someone about how they look, because it will make the person upset/sad. A 2 year old will understand more than they can say, and should be capable of understanding a simple explanation.

DS 2.6 has just started pointing and laughing - I discourage it at all times, even in the house (the only place he has done it so far) and tell him it's not nice to laugh at people. Haven't needed to put it to the test outside the home yet, thank goodness...

I don't think you could have done much else, tbh hmmSleep.

i think poeople know that a 2 year old is not going to speak with any tact! so i think it';s fine if you'd taken him to one side and said "ds, it isn't nice to call people funny" and given your explanation whilst you were still in the r

I think you're right that pretending you didn't hear when you obviously did isn't the right thing to do

I would have explained to the child that people come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and it's not good mannars to find someone funny because they are small. I would have appologised to the man aswell rather then scuttle my child away, pretending that I hadn't heard. The man probably gets this alot.

I would have apologised to the man, and then explained to dd that it was not nice to point at people like that. Then I probably would have said something like "this man works in the museum, he is called a curator" to deflect her attention and then maybe asked him what he would recommend we see.

Thanks for your responses. I did explain once we left the room that what he'd done wasn't nice and why, but agree that I should have acknowledged it whilst it was happening. I did try and leave the room quickly, it was one of those awful situations where most rooms in the Museum were walk through, so I'd presumed (never presume!) we could get out the other side without having to walk back past, but oh no!

I remember (very clearly!) when I was about 4, pointing at a lady who worked in our local shop and saying "is that the dwarf lady?". I remember my mum looking very disappointed with me and telling my gran to take me out of the shop. I remember being quite confused and ashamed but I wasn't sure what I had done wrong until my mum explained to me afterwards why it was not a nice thing to do. I think the explanation coupled with the tangible awkwardness I had created stuck in my mind - I was always the girl at school who stuck up for people being bullied, befriended the isolated kids etc...good lesson learnt.

I asked my mum about it recently and she said she had been mortified as she wasn't sure how to apologise without sounded patronising and drawing even more attention to the situation. Luckily, the lady laughed it off. Bloody children!!!

(Mind you, I have been publically embarrassed by many children in my adult life so hopefully the karma balance has been restored....)

Agree with skidoodly that it would be nice to talk briefly with the curator, rather than only about him.