Am I being daft, would you send your child to this CM?

[OnlyWantsOne]

My DD (3) is in full time nursery - and I was thinking of sending her to a local CM once a week, as two of her friends that she will be going to school with go there -

Any way, have just found out tat said CM own children were abused by one of CM friends in the past (and I dont know how to feel about it) realise this is a sensitive subject so dont really want to ask CM the details (as its none of my business) but - If you found out the CM children who are under the age of 7, had been abused, and were medicated to control their behaivour, would you send your kids to that CM?

and fwiw I agree that if you don't have the right feeling about someone then don't use them. But to dismiss someone because their children were abused is truely shocking, and quite horrible actually.

'If she was discussing someone else's child then I would think differently, but I don't see that someone talking openly about their own life/situation is someone who is incapable of confidentiality when it comes to others.

absolutely, and I speak as someone who does tend to rattle on about our situation (because nobody else much to rattle on to generally) yet has happily held jobs where confidentiality is of teh utmost and never breathed a word.

You know, Wannabe and Clarissimo, having thought about this a little further, you are right.

It is of course a hard ojne

Ultiamtely if the voice was nagging me to say soemthing isn't right here I would go with my gut over morals every time when it came to finding childcare

However, I equally beelive my morals on this are well founded.

MAny, amny years ago I watched the family of someone vI knew fall apart when it was revealed that Dad had been abusing girl and Mum didn't have a clue. the judgement on them wasn't whether Mum knew, but how Mum responded afterwards

With my ds3, I have to send him into situations- school, transport etc- knowing that if something happened to him he couldn't tell me (SN). that doesn't half make youa ware how many 'risks' you have to take to enable a normal existence. For a tiny percentage those risks turn out to be bad ones- doesn't reflect on the aprent at all though.

Then you probably wouldn't wish to be friends with me thesecond, and that's OK I guess (combination of loneliness as a carer / Aspie traits in the mix)

It doesn't amke me a bad eprson though: just emans we have the right to choose who we wish to be friends with

I don't have a problem with a CM whose child was abused so long as the person who did the abuse is away from the home and cannot return and that while the kids are there, no-one else is.

What I do have a problem with is the confidentiality, I would genuinely feel uncomfortable talking to a CM who I knew was a spiller because how could I go and say 'I will be late today because I have X medical appt' knowing damn well it'd go round my friends.

I'm sure she's a lovely woman, but you do have to go on instinct with these things, and even said, your instincts sometimes are wrong.

leave your child where he is safe. He's only 3!! wouldn't even consider anywhere that had any controversial reports of anything even food.!!!!!!!