am a little annoyed!

[Disenchanted3]

When my parents got a new car they asked us if we warted their old one, we didn't drive an the car hdbeen in a fire(!!) on a petrol forecourt!

They wanted a bigger car and so gave us this one.

We didn't pay for it but we did pay over £200 to have it fixed and MOT'd.

Shortly after DH started his lessons he lost his job and so he stopped his lessons.

The cars been on the drive for a while.

We kept asking my parents if they wanted it back but they said 'no, do what you want with it'

So considering the state its in we decided to scrap it for £120.

(the car is in my husbands name BTW)

My mums and dad didn't want us to do this, despite saying 'do what you want with it' for month (the same cars worjing and MOT'd on ebay only go for a few hundred)

So dad says clean it up and put it on ebay.

We got and buy a load of car cleaning products and plan to do that.

They say thats great, we plan on using the money for spending money on our caravan holiday.

Now my sisters boyfriend has passed his tests and she txts me to find out the cars reg, my parents have said 'she can have it'

I'm upset as they have said all along that we can sell it, and we did pay £200 to fix it.

I know we have let it just sit there, but in all honesty I don't think its drivable!

We were selling it on ebay for spares!

I feel a bit annoyed that I'm expected to just hand it to them with no questions when its been clear for the last few months its ours to sell and we have put £200 into it!

I think my parents still see it as theirs, but they gave it to us, we got it repaired, MOT'd and all documents are in DHSs name!

Oh no! I feel for you, Disenchanted.

This is exactly the kind of thing that happens in my family.

Be strong! It was not your mums place to tell your sister she could have the car. I think you could firmly say "Well, we spent £200 on it and were going to scrap it for £120. Dad said we would get more money for it by cleaning it up and selling it on ebay s we shelled out £x cleaning it up"

"We are more than happy to give you the car but we can't be out of pocket to the tune of £150 (whatever ebay +cleaning products cost) so you can buy it off us or get a car from elsewhere"

If she queries how much you would get for it on eBay tell her to bid for it! Actually that's quite a good idea. At least you'd both know you were getting the fairest price!

Having said that, if you've got lots of spare cash and she's skint then maybe just give it to her? (Am guessing that is nt the case)

I know that but my mum has done so, so much for us over the last few years and I don't know if this is the battle I want to pick, iykwim?

I know what you mean. Have had to weigh up my battles before. Have a think and if you feel like the balance is currently in your favour (i.e. you've been helped out a lot more than your sis) and you can afford to let the car go for free then, do it.

but even so, you should try and have a word with your mum about not making promises befre checking with you (see, if it was me, I would be tempted to lie and say you had already told someone they could buy the car off you and your mum telling your sister she could have the car put you in a v awkward position, just to make a point. I am immature though)

I'd love to say something like that plimosle but I'm a jellyfish when it comes to things like this, completely spineless.

My mum shes a matyre, she really is, if i question this and point out the fact we dont want to loose money she will go on at me, possibly shout and it will just be awful for weeks.

(for example she once bought my nephew a happy meal when his mum has said he was not allowed one, when my sister told her that he would not be eating it as she said 'no' my mum proceded to his and shoutin asda carpark and then shout all the way home telling us 'never to ask her for anything ever again'

Oh, its rubbish, it really is. I totally know how you feel . My fam just the same. An example: I lent my sister my car once for six months (because I felt guilty that I had a car and she didn't, and I felt bad for her having a long bus journey to work). She damaged it so much over that time by driving it into various things.
She never got it repaired ever even though after a while I offered to pay for it to be done if she would just drive the blody thing t a garage. never did it. And it became permanently damaged due to rust getting in through the exposed bits.

and the worst bit?

in the eyes of my parents, I was the one who was in the wrong. Never got my head round that one. Mum used to shout at me if I ever so much as uttered the words "my car".

God, i can't believe I'm still bitter. it;s been 3 years !!!

Well it went as bad as possible really.

Turns out my sister had gone straight from our conversation to ring my mum and told her all I had said about not wanting to give it away (and then she denied this after! - but how else would my mum know?)

DH decided to play dumb was best as remember my mum has still never said to us that she was giving the car away
So he answered the phone and my mum was saying 'BIL is having the car' Just like that So DH said 'oh is he buying it then?'

So my mum said I know you paid that money but it was ages ago now and I want to help them out,

Then all I could hear was DHs side of the convo on the phone and he said 'why are you shouting at me?, can you not raise your voice?'

then he put the phone down on her because she was screaming at him saying 'so I can't help Hayley out like I always he you out?!

Well surly shes not helping them out - we are?!?

Sis says that mum said to her 'forget the car we will give you money for another one' ?!?!

So ended really awkwardly now.

DH said he would be happy for BIL to have car really, but if she would have just called him in the first place to ASK that Then all would be fine, but its the way we were the last to know we were gving OUR car away

And DH wanted to whe the car don the road and leave it there if it wasn't his but managed to stop him!

I would also be very wary as if the car goes wrong that's all going to be your fault, too, isn't it! I'd be inclined to say that you'd agreed to sell it to someone else or that you had already started your e-bay sale and can't get out of it.

oh for goodness sake just put your foot down and state loud and clear that it was given to you you all paid the 200 to get it working and that what they can have it for. END OF.

If your parents are going to pay for another car why can't they just give you the £200 for it.