Another baby vs Big house

[MilkMonitor]

DH and I have been talking about have dc4.

I'd love it. So would he but he's worried about money. He's worried about money because he wants all our dcs to go to private school. Up until now, he's said we can't afford another.

I'm not bothered about private school for primary age but he's said it's really important to him so I've conceded. I thought it would be better to go to state primary and save the cash we'd've spent on private to spend on private senior school. Heigh ho.

But now we've worked out that on some land adjoining our house we could build a 4 bed house. Not massive - think Victorian terrace and quite a poky one, given the land available.

But we could then sell our current house (3 bed Victorian terrace) and live in the new build on a very small mortgage as result of the sale. In fact, could pay off the mortgage on the new build in five years, we estimate.

And have a 4th dc.

Or, we could stick with 3 dcs, sell off both houses and move into a lovely, big six bed in the country, 20 mins away.

I want to have another baby. DH says that as long I'm aware that we might not ever be able to move from the new 4 bed due to school fees for 4 kids, he's happy to do that too.

But now, I'm wondering am I depriving my existing 3 kids of a lovely big home, in the country, no parental stress over money and fees etc. All because of my selfish yearning for another baby.

Wwyd? Please? I need some other diplomatic perspectives and more clarity on this.

Have the baby. You'll always regret not having another child. You'll probably move again anyway. Your dcs won't know any different if you don't.

Don't get why your dh wanting them to go to private school is held as more important than what you want though.

Baby, baby, baby, baby!!! Good luck whatever you decide.

Is it another baby you want, or a 4th child? Semantics perhaps, but if it is a baby you are yearning for, then you will probably always want another one - as I am sure you are very aware, they grow into children all too quickly. If you feel a 4th child would complete your family, then it is quite different.

You do need to weigh up what is best for all of your family, and perhaps that will be another sibling for your other children. Personally, I would take the financial security for my current family over and above anything else.

4 has always been my magic number.

Obviously, I can't predict how I'll feel after child number 4. And, Rindercella, you're right to point that out but even I know that beyond 4 is really impossible.

A lower mortgage would mean some good financial security. But then if say dh lost his job, whether we had 1, 2 or 7 dcs, they'd all be yanked out of private school, wouldn't they?

I just don't know now that the reality of having another is facing me. I still really want another child....

why does it have to be a six bed house have a slightly smaller one still in country and another baby. in a few years you could get p/t job and add onto the country pad. but if DH did ever loose job, at least you would be in the country much healthier for the kids