Birthday Gifts

[ItsGrimUpNorth]

My sil is, how shall we say, very careful with her money. Well, the money she spends on other people that is.

She gets my dcs birthday presents from Sainsbury's. That's fine. I don't care. She gets them there because her dh works there and she gets a discount. On average, they cost seven pounds. That's fine. Wise move even.

BUT what I do care about is when it comes to her dcs birthdays, she asks for contributions of 15 pounds and upwards. DH is terrified of offending her and so we always contribute.

I think it's very cheeky and whilst we are not mean, I feel like she's taking the piss.

What would be the best way of handling this or should I just rise above it and take pleasure in the fact that her children are getting the gifts they like from us? Why does this irk me? I can't bear stinginess!

Well, I guess you don't know exactly what their income and outgoings are, so I think you're being a bit unfair to say she is stingy. But it's also a bit out of order to "ask for [cash] contributions" for her kids' birthdays.

Why don't you just say you'd rather give a gift, rather than cash, as it's more personal. Then go and buy something you think your nephews/nieces would like, and something that you can afford.

That way you have the pleasure of giving, without feeling put upon.

She asks for contributions and specifies the amount?

Just buy your nieces and nephews gifts of your own choosing. You are under no obligation to accede to her demands for your money so she can buy her children presents.

If she complains just tell her you enjoy choosing presents for the children yourself.

2nding skidoodly

I would decline to co-operate and choose something myself IIWY. As you say, her choice what she buys and from where for your DC - and the same choice applies to you and your presents for her DC.

dont even mention it to your DH till you've bought presents and then tell him just for a change I bought presents. and tell sis you wanted to go and choose your own presents this year. gabble on about darling niece /nephew buying present withdrawal love looking for things witter on like a woman possessed!!!!!! she'll soon get bored!!!!