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Original poster

Friend is txt flirting with DH

32 replies

Lasvegas · 03/03/2010 13:50

A married female friend of DH is flirting with him by txt. He says that she is just being friendly How do I get her to stop and or get DH see the light.

I don't see it as acceptable behaviour on her part am I just old fashioned?

OP posts:
iStickyTape · 03/03/2010 13:52

I'm afraid your DH has to do it. Surely he can understand that you're not happy with it? He can just stop responding. He doesn't have to explicitly ask her to stop.

compo · 03/03/2010 13:52

If you trust your dh it shouldn't bother you
but you could text her and ask her for her dh's number for some txt flirting

Iklboo · 03/03/2010 13:53

How would he feel if a male married friend was sending you flirty texts? Not happy I bet.

RealityIsABridezilla · 03/03/2010 13:54

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Original poster
Lasvegas · 03/03/2010 13:58

I have only read one (opened by accident) when I tacked him he couldn't see anything wrong in it as she and he and the whole world send txts to each other with kisses at the end and call each other honey.

I would never txt anyone I was married to and say honey.

The txt was just about catching a train to work together. Not sex txt or anything like that.

He points out that he has known her for 15 years (prior to us being married) and he has never so much as been on date with her, she is just a friend. I think she is doing all the running.

OP posts:
RealityIsABridezilla · 03/03/2010 14:01

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MinnieMummy · 03/03/2010 14:01

I wouldn't be happy either but there are lots of women who uniformly use words like 'honey' and put kisses on the end of their texts regardless of who it's to - colleagues, boss, family, friends - everyone.

What's more important is how he responds to them I'd say. If he's just matter-of-fact e.g. 'I'm getting the 8.15, see you then' then I would try not to worry about it.

MinnieMummy · 03/03/2010 14:02

sorry x-posts with Reality!

displayuntilbestbefore · 03/03/2010 14:03

Some women can't seem to help adding kisses to every text or e-mail they send, whoever it's for. Old colleague of my DH used to sign off with a shortened version of her name and xxx at the end of work e-mails to him and others.

If she has known your DH for years and there's nothing to it as far as he's concerned, then I wouldn't worry too much about it. If the texts are getting more and more familiar then just mention to your DH that you don't think it's very appropriate but make sure if he says anything to her about it that it comes from him and he doesn't say anything to her about it having come from you or she'll be having a snigger at your expense.

(Did that make sense?)

norksinmywaistband · 03/03/2010 14:03

I agree wth reality, I always put kisses and sweetie, babe etc in my texts/ e-mail . I also use these terms in rl to both male and female friends

squeaver · 03/03/2010 14:04

Agree with Reality.

Also a worry if he sends her pics of himself in his pants (just ask Cheryl).

RealityIsABridezilla · 03/03/2010 14:04

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displayuntilbestbefore · 03/03/2010 14:05

x-post Reality!

Original poster
Lasvegas · 03/03/2010 14:10

Ok noted some women routinely put X and use terms of affection to all and sundry, but do men?

DH says he always puts a X at end of a txt to her and calls her babe etc. Yet when he txts me he doesn't put a X routinely and never puts babe/ darling etc. I think this is odd. Do you?

OP posts:
PfftTheMagicDragon · 03/03/2010 14:18

Some men do, I think it depends on the ma. Some men hug people when they say hello, so do some women, some people would never dream of it, some people call others by pet names and are more affectionate and tactile than others. Male and female.

I think the content of the texts is everything.

KimiGaveUpStarbucks4Lent · 03/03/2010 14:28

I put Xs on my text, its a habit, even to my boss.

I would not worry about it if it is just day to day stuff

displayuntilbestbefore · 03/03/2010 14:29

Not sure calling her "babe" is particularly necessary?
Could ask him to refrain from that habit I reckon especially if he doesn't refer to you that way!

junglist1 · 03/03/2010 17:12

Jesus Christ I'd kill them

FabIsDoingPrettyWell · 03/03/2010 17:15

If he did put a kiss and call you babe in a text would you feel better?

BessieBoots · 03/03/2010 17:17

I have a married male best friend and we are always putting babe and love and all that in texts, as well as kisses.

To be a total hypocrite about it though, not sure I'd like DH doing it...

Do they have any romantic history?

DuelingFanjo · 03/03/2010 17:18

yes, My DH puts kisses at the end of texts and has several female friends that he calls 'luv' I have never felt jealous of any of them but perhaps that is because I have met and socialised with them all.

If he's known her 15 years then surely you have met her at some point?

RumourOfAHurricane · 03/03/2010 17:24

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RealityIsABridezilla · 03/03/2010 18:18

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heQet · 03/03/2010 18:21

I think that if he puts kisses on the end of texts to her and calls her babe but doesn't text you in that way, then he's being unreasonable.

Start texting her husband with kisses on the end

Or give me your phone number. I'll be Bob and send you friendly messages with kisses on the end.

Sauce for the goose and all that!

Because I bet my last rolo he'll not like it.

fifi24 · 08/03/2010 10:12

I wouldn't be happy...DH used to txt his PA all the time - banale work stuff most of the time (he was very open about it), then it became flirty (and more secretive) and then he actually kissed her twice...never went further (checked his emails), but I am going thru hell thinking if I had just said earlier that it wasn't on and needed to stop, it may not have gone that far. Clearly DH is the one who did wrong, am not accepting any blame - just saying that nip it in the bud - text and email are so dangerous,something can develop out of nothing because it is exciting and a bit naughty.
Am not going to hijack this thread but going to start my own on subject of DH and his betrayal...would SO appreciate comments

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