Do we really know people???

[fishingboat]

my 2 best friends won 't talk to me the first because I let slip a baby wouldn't make eveything better between her and her husband, he has nearly left her twice this year they already have two children, I know I maybe should not of said it but i thought we were friends, she trusted me enough to tell me they had problems, I didn't think she would react in the way she did! Seemed ok at first then distanced herself only for me to get it out of her 17 days later she was upset about my comment, i apologised to her in person and letter and to her husband in person, she let me believe she had forgiven me only to a week later to text to say she did not want to be friends anymore. She has then told my other friend I have said things about her which i haven't and she won't talk to me either I feel so alone the people i thought were my friends arent??

Ermmm not nice I know but grow up and get better friends.

Sometimes being a friend is not saying things you know will hurt them.

what's done is done. you have to consider whether they were really friends anyway if they behave childishly. i know that if i have hurt a true friend or visa vera, then an apology would be more than good enough for a true friend.

perhaps you are best out of these petty games.

i do agree with the sentiment of the last post in that - i think one has to be careful even with close friends how we couch very personal things. some things are off limits all together no matter how close you think you are, it's about knowing where the lines are

How do you know where the lines are??

Friendship doesn't come with a hand book of rules!!!!

Well you just get the idea as things go along and you learn what they would openly accept and what they wouldnt ever want you to mention.

One of my closest friends is quite a big girl and shes put on lots of weight she says shes a size 16 but I know shes not -now I wouldnt say to her your trousers are way too tight buy a larger size....but when we were out shopping and I passed her some size 20 trousers she didnt say anything just tried them on and loved them.

Was your comment in the context of a heart to heart discussion, where she was asking advice? Or did you just state it out of the blue?

Some people don;t like hearing the truth, sounds like she is shooting the messenger to me.

Ew some things you Don't Say.

Urm, not too sure what to advise tbh I would say try again to build bridges.

yes Cyb it was during a discussion about how things were going,i would never of said it just out of the blue, i was totally shocked because she was only in my kitchen crying four wks earlier things had kick off again, when she told me she was pregnant I was gobsmacked she said it wasn't planned they had only done it once in months, I can see now I totally didn't know her as well as i thought, I would rather a friend be honest with me than says things humour me. I apologised instantly because i could see my comment had upset her she let me believe she had accepted it for 17days til I got it out of her she was still upset with me. I apologise again even went to hubbies work the next day aplogised to him in person that night she came to my home sat had coffee with me and my husband and let me believe again she had forgiven me and we were going to move on to only a week later end our friendship by text!! it's put me off listening to peoples problems now I find myself switching off whats the point in listening I daren 't say anything. It's not just are friendship that has suffer our 6 yr old girls as too! I 've come to the conclusion our friendship didn't mean that much to her because I trying to do everything I could to try and mend it.

But you see this is where my concern about the nature of your friendship lies - if i upset my friend i dont keep saying sorry i certainly wouldnt go to her dhs works.

I say sorry and then its done - I think its your friend who has the issues not you.

My gosh I am so mad at work we are going to see the xfactor tour in march my friend was supposed to be coming with me, person who organised it informs me today she had sold my friend ticket and then continue to tell me she went into my work asking for her money back, even though I had arranged are tickets noboby at my work knows her, when asked why she wanted her money back she told my collegue she was pregnant and didn't want to go because of that, my collegues reply your only pregnant why not!! she then contiue to tell her we had fallen out!!!!!!!!

I so mad because I think how dare she go to my work,now all my work mates know my business, if she wanted to see if she could get her money back she should of asked me.

am i over reacting? Feel like saying something to her but I know I won't that makes me mad too.

Totally moved on feel much better in myself, learn t some tuff lessons but I'm still standing.

Hi. I have just seen that this thread is old now, but on the chance that you are still checking, I wondered if she was upset that you brought her husband into it, by apologising to him. Very likely she didn't want him to know she had discussed anything with outsiders. It doesn't make him look good, so perhaps she had some backlash from him over it.

Could that explain her apparent fury at you (e.g. going to work, slagging you off to others, etc.)?

I agree with posters above: people should be able to accept unpalatable truths from their friends. But she has gone just a bit too mental for it to be that.