DD (7) missed piano lesson at school and I'm being charged full price. Is this reasonable?

[HerBeatitude]

Piano teacher comes into school, 20 mins lessons at £12.I?m on a v low wage and tax credits, so it?s a massive financial commitment for me to get both DC?s piano lessons. Last week DD (7) didn't go. Normally, she is reminded to go by the child before her, but he couldn't find her and it appears that no-one in school is responsible for ensuring that she goes to her lesson. I have a problem with this: I think a 7 year old is too young to take responsibility for going to a piano lesson and the school theoretically agrees with me, because they put the onus on the piano teacher to find her. She couldn't because it was lunch time.

OK I understand that the school aren't responsible. I understand that there's no reason for the piano teacher to lose out because she was after all, there for the lesson. But is it right that I am the one who has to pick up the bill, when I am the only one who could not influence the situation in any way? Short of phoning the school 10 minutes before her lesson is due to ask someone to remind her to go to her lesson, how can I ensure that I'm not paying for lessons she misses? The other thing that really pisses me off, is that I only found out she missed the lesson by accident, because I happened to speak to the after school club leader who also happens to be a playground supervisor and was there when they couldn?t find her. I feel thoroughly miffed about the whole thing and wonder if I should complain to someone or just look for a new piano teacher outside of school, so that I can make sure that DD goes to the lessons I pay for? WWYD?

Hmm, difficult one. Obviously the teacher cannot be out of pocket, she was there.

Can you give your DD some kind of alarm clock or watch with an alarm on it?

Does she have a packed lunch? Could you put a note in her lunchbox?

I think that at 7 (I have a 6 year old) then she is old enough to remember most weeks really. (although obviously everyone forgets things from time to time) Sorry if this sounds harsh.

Good idea re note in lunchbox. Or could teacher either remind her or put a note on the board or similar?

That is the system at the school my dd goes to.
Who is going to remind her? Other people have their jobs to do - your dd is only one in the school full of children. I used to teach year 3 and I would sy to parents I will try my best to remind them but I can't remember everyones lesson all the time.

My dd (7) has missed a lesson - but its tough and I was cross with her. I tell her is she is responsible enough to learn an instrument she has to be responsible to remember to go.

sorry but I think you are being unreasonable - if you want a 100% guarantee she will go find lessons out of school.

But the school don't think she's old enough to remember her lessons. They specifically say the piano teacher has to deal with that.

It does sound like I need to get her to do them out of school though, I agree.

It is reasonable for the lesson to be paid for in full but it is unfortunate for you that everything went a bit wrong. However, she really should be able to remember by herself, if you give her the necessary reminder on the day.

Some kind of reminder from you to her on the day of her piano lesson would probably help - although, doesn't she have to take her piano stuff in with her just on lesson days? I would have thought that was enough of a reminder but maybe not.

Incidentally does she enjoy the lessons? I only ask as I was forced to have piano lessons (and practise for hours on end) and I hated it.

It was similar to your situation in that we were a very low income family but my dad was obsessed with me learning piano but we really did need the money for other things.

I am not suggesting that you are forcing her btw, just explaining my experience.

Perhaps try and find out if she accidentally on purpose forgot?

Hang on - just re-read your post and you said "r school club leader who also happens to be a playground supervisor and was there when they couldn?t find her." so it sounds like people were looking for her..what more do you want?

Maybe you could ask for a fixed time lesson?

My 8 yr old ds has drum lessons at school and so we bought him a cheap watch with an alarm which we make sure he wears each tuesday - alarm goes off 10 mins before drum lesson time to give him a chance to finish what he is doing and get to the lesson. Could you try something like that?

If the piano teacher has to spend X minutes of her time searching for the pupil, it will come out of the pupil's lesson.

At the moment she doesn't like her lessons, but then DS didn't at the stage she's at atm and now he loves them. Yes, my concern is that she will deliberately "forget" to go on a regular basis, and there is nothing I can do about it except continue to pay up for lessons she's not getting. Which is why I need to be in control of her going, i suppose, rather than relying on someone else to make her.

is it a fixed time lesson, or like at DS1's school does it change time each week? If the latter a watch with an alarm will only work if you remember to check in advance of the day what time her next lesson is

Part of the problem is the time - her lesson is in lunchtime, so she misses part of her playtime and she resents it. I'm sure if it was in maths, she'd be delighted to go.

Cazzybabs the playground supervisor was there, but not looking for her, she couldn't - not her job, she's got to supervise the playground. The teacher was looking for her and yes, I understand that that time spent looking comes out of lesson time. I'm just very surprised she couldn't find her though, there are only 2 places a child is allowed to be at lunchtime, in the playground or in the dinner hall (or in their music lesson). It's just a little primary school, I can imagine that she'd miss 10 minutes of the lesson but the whole lesson I just can't understand. I wonder if she was hiding, but I just don't think she'd get away with it, the school's too small.

I might try the alarm thing and give it a term, but if she misses another one, find a teacher out of school. Thanks for the ideas.

DS1 also aged 7 did this last week, he's been going to his lesson at the same time on a Monday for 18 months but last week he played with the other kids in the playground and then toddled off to afterschool club rather than take himself off to piano. (Piano lesson is in the school).

I got charged the full price and I also get charged for the two weeks half term when the teacher isn't there, which I'm never very happy about because i'm willing to take them for lessons even if it is school holidays.

I did explain to DS I wasn't happy about him missing his lesson, that they cost a lot of money and that even if he doesn't go I have to pay. I reminded him this week and he went. It's not nice having to pay though when they don't go.