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birthday party etiquette

11 replies

shubiedoo · 01/02/2010 19:47

Ds1 and his two friends in the same class all have their birthdays this week!

Ds1 is invited to one party starting at 1:00 ending at 4:00 (I had thought it would only be until 3:00) and another from 2:30 until 5. The first boy is a closer friend, but the second party is a jungle theme with real snakes!

Is it rude to leave one party early and arrive at the next one a bit late? Or should he just suck it up and pick one over the other?

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overmydeadbody · 01/02/2010 19:50

Of corse it's not rude!

Juat tell the parents of both other parties that you will have to pick Ds up early/drop DS off late and give them definate times so that they can arrange things like party bags etc.

might be worth finding out when the live snakes will be on show, as it will probably only be for one portion of the party.

UniS · 01/02/2010 19:50

Pick one.

woodyandbuzz · 01/02/2010 20:03

omg, I would have though it was horrendously rude tbh. I would send your child to the party of the first boy because he is a closer friend.

overmydeadbody · 01/02/2010 20:14

Why is it rude? Surely it's never rude to fit in invitations around your plans for the day and if you have other plans that clash a bit you compromise a bit.

If a friend invited me to lunch on saturday at 1pm and I had already planned on going to the cinema and it didn't finish till 1pm I would just accpet friend's lunch invite but say "I'm afraid I won;t be able to make it till 1:30 though, I hope that's ok". Party situation in OP is no differnet is it?

PiratePrincess · 01/02/2010 20:19

over It's rude because you fit in with their plans, not the other way round.

OP Pick one party and commit to being there the whole way through.

shubiedoo · 01/02/2010 20:19

I thought he could do both too, and I've explained that might mean he doesn't get cake at both places (he loves food...)

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woodyandbuzz · 01/02/2010 20:26

I would be really cross if I had paid for a certain number of child places at a party and people turned up when they fancied it and left when they fancied it. Will the first party have a structure? Will your child be leaving part way through the games? I would have though it was totally out of order tbh. At a push, you could tell the mums that their parties clash a bit and they could each adjust them slightly IF convenient.

Hulababy · 01/02/2010 20:26

Whilst it seems more acceptable to turn up a little late to one party, IMO it would be very rude to leave the first party so early. As the host I would be very about someone choosing to leave my DC's party an hour early so they could go to another party TBH.

Which invite did you get first?

Have you responded to either?

If neither responded to, then ask him to chose one or the other.

If yu do insist on doing both hen you do need to speak to the mums in advance really, so they know whre the stand and be prepared, esp the first party. That parent will need to know for planning food and party bags (often food is in the lst part of a party for example). But beware the mum being a bit put out.

UC · 01/02/2010 20:28

if the boys are all in the same class, won't the parents have sussed already that the parties clash? Your son won't be the only one with this situation surely? Isn't there any discussion of it in the playground?!

MadOldCrone · 01/02/2010 20:29

I think it's rude - children's parties are at set times for a reason. You can't cherry pick.

Pick one. I'd go for the closer friend if it were me.

shubiedoo · 01/02/2010 21:13

No, the first mum works and her son takes the bus, no playground talk. I do see the other mum more, we're both at home (and I had asked what she was doing, our son's party is NEXT weekend!)

The tricky bit is, because I assumed the other party would finish earlier, I accepted the first invitation on the phone, and then she said "they can just play at the house until 4..." (the first hour or so is outside at a park.) So I don't think it's all that structured.

And the first mum "re-gifted" the present I bought for her son last year at a party just last week... not that it matters, but you'd think her etiquette would be better...

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